


57 hrs 30 mns

by Essi_Magwayen



Series: Usapang Bote [3]
Category: Buhay Kolehiyo, SSU, Sexy Sexy Universities
Genre: ADMU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ateneo de Manila University, De La Salle University, De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde, F/F, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, UST, University of Sto. Tomas, University of the Philippines, ang intense ng sexual tension nila for me lang naman, csb, dlsu, essi kelan ka na darating sa smut, mapua, pagdasal niyo na magkiss sila
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-24 14:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Essi_Magwayen/pseuds/Essi_Magwayen
Summary: It started on a Friday at 2:32 PM. Then the timer stopped fifty-seven hours and thirty minutes later.(no one dies ya'll can breathe)





	1. FRIDAY

**Author's Note:**

> I DO NOT OWN NOR DO I HAVE ANY AFFILIATION WITH ANY OF THE SONGS, LYRICS AND OTHER BRANDED PRODUCTS IN THIS FICTIONAL WORK
> 
> This is a bi-lingual fic; English/Filipino. So let your Filipino friend help you translate!
> 
> All characters created and owned by [SEXY SEXY UNIVERSITIES](https://www.facebook.com/sexysexyuniversities/) and their webcomics, BUHAY KOLEHIYO.  
> Check them out. They're awesome.
> 
> OKAY SO
> 
> I'm very humbled by the amount of attention given to [Happy T at Katipunan](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10726068) and I thank, I thank everyone who read it, especially to the team of Buhay Kolehiyo and of course, Mod A.
> 
> So I've been saying that I've been working on something, and I'm glad to finally share it with you all. But before you start reading, I'd just like to talk about the style of writing used in my fics.
> 
> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
> 
> Do not pick-up on my style of switching languages. I wrote this experimentally mixing Filipino dialogue with English narration, I am pleased with the response, BUT formally, I do not recommend this. I encourage all of you to write fully in one language or another. If any of you plan on pursuing a career in writing, IF YOU ARE TO CODE SWITCH IN YOUR WORK, PLEASE PUT IN TRANSLATIONS FOR THE FOREIGN LANGUAGE. The only reason I confidently write in both languages is because this is an informal writing space and that most of you readers understand both languages. THAT IS ALL.
> 
> Lastly,
> 
> this chapter is dedicated to the Neo of my life. Good luck sa acads mo mamsh, mag-indulge ka sa NeoSalle after finals. Labyu!
> 
> ENJOY!  
> (p.s. thank you so much [@Gwyndolyn](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwyndolyn) for helping me thank you so muuuuuuuch! mwa!)

 

 

 

 

 

              **FRIDAY AFTERNOON:**

_2:32 PM_

**Green:** libre ka bukas?

 

_2:41 PM_

**Blue:** im in class tf do u want?

 **Green:** u ddnt ans my question u shit

 

_3:00 PM_

**Blue:** why what’s happening tom?

 **Green:** pota

 **Green:** Tags tayo

 

_3:09 PM_

**Blue:** tags?

 **Blue:** Tagay uli?? ayoko na pls

 **Green:** tagaytay bobo

 

_3:21 PM_

**Green:** uy puta sumagot ka nga

 

_3:22 PM_

**Blue:** Ah wut we gun do there?

 

_3:26 PM_

**Green:** Magsstarbucks tayo

 **Blue:** g ill cancel my meeting

 **Green:**    tangina para lang sa starbs??

 

_3:30 PM_

**Blue:** tayo lang ba?

 **Green:** gusto mo ba?

 

_3:48 PM_

**Green:** sama si Cess.

 **Blue:** ok

 **Green:** sama ba natin si tomas?

 

_3:59 PM_

**Green:** tomas at phil kasi

 **Blue:** ah sige g lang

 **Green:** dala kang pangswimming

 

_4:04 PM_

**Blue:** magsswimming tayo sa starbs?

 **Blue:** I mean I dnt mind.

 

_4:05 PM_

**Green:** ugh just bring it. ill pick u up

                                     tonight.

 

_4:08 PM_

**Blue:** eh si phil?

 **Green:** kaya na niya yan.

 **Blue:** favoritism.

 

_4:12 PM_

**Green:** naman.

 **Green:** meet sa taft.

 **Blue:** tell that to poor Phil.

 

             **FRIDAY NIGHT-SATURDAY MORNING:**

A knock on the door sounded and caught Neo’s attention mid-stretch in his chair in front of his laptop. Neo checked the time and it read 9:16 PM. He put the volume down on Bruno Mars’ [ _That’s What I Like_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMivT7MJ41M), the song that was keeping him company and tapped on his phone. The screen turned on, there were no messages.

             _Doesn’t even text that he’s already coming_. Neo rolled his eyes as another series of knocks hit his door.

             “Oo wait lang.” He called over.

Neo turned to his bed and gathered the scattered papers along with the different colored highlighters. He piled them up untidily on his desk next to his laptop and pushed his chair under it. He was suddenly reminded of the green jacket hugging his chair’s backrest. He smiled, fondly remembering that [night](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10726068) some months ago. Another series of knocks. Neo clicked his tongue in annoyance.

             “Tagal namaaan,” the low voice from outside his door called out.

He padded over to the door, swung it open to reveal the man behind it. The familiar face was leaning against his door frame, and smiled brightly at the sight of the residing student. Hair slicked back, thick eyebrows, naturally alluring eyes and that big flirtatious smile he always wore. Of course, his signature look; black shirt, white chinos, black Nikes. _Honestly, didn't he have anything else to wear?_ Well, he wasn't wearing his jacket tonight.

No.

He _hasn't_ been wearing his jacket for quite some time now. And the simple reason is that it wasn't with him.

             Neo took a second, trying his best at keeping a blank face. "'Wag kang maingay, late na." he said as he turned around and stepped back into his room, keeping the door open.

Salle stepped inside, following Neo, he shut the door behind him, but before he stepped any further he was caught frozen by the tiny hallway. Neo turned back to look at him.

             "What?"

Salle was lost for words; He rarely saw Neo dressed down.

And dressed down Neo was; even his hair was down, not that he looked any less ridiculously cute. He was wearing nothing but an oversized navy blue shirt with the big familiar alma mater printed on it — _honestly, doesn’t this guy have any other color in his wardrobe?_ — and on his lower half he wore a plaid, light-blue, boxer-shorts that stopped about two inches from his knees. Even Salle could admit the guy's thighs were taut, admirable... Would be nice to sink his tee—

             “Wala!” Salle nearly shouted. Neo jumped and knitted his eyebrows together with a questioning look. “Sorry,” Salle whispered quietly.

Neo shook his head and disappeared into the corner. Salle widened his eyes, shaking his head with regret. He placed the brown Starbucks bag he brought on top of Neo’s desk, next to his laptop. He pulled out two donuts, laid it on the table. He reached in again and pulled out one tall Caffe Latte and one tall Double Chocolaty Chip Frappe.

             “Kumain ka na?” Salle called out to the other, still sorting out the starbs items.

             “Yes.” He heard from some distance. “Ikaw ba?—”

Neo stepped out of the bathroom, a small pouch in hand. Salle turned around to face him, both drinks still in hand and waved the frappe to Neo. The other’s usual unamused and blank face lit up like he just received a gift from Santa. He threw his pouch to his bed and quickly jumped to Salle’s side. He was smiling brightly as he took the cup, while Salle leaned back on the other’s desk, beaming at this kid obsessed with Starbucks. Neo held it with both hands, his smile reaching his eyes, looking up at Salle while he sipped from the green straw.

Salle felt his chest flood in with warmth. How would he have known that seeing Neo smile over a fucking frappe would strike him in the chest? Well the truth is, he’s always struck every time Neo smiles anyway.

             “Salamat.” Neo said once he released the straw. He turned again to walk over to the side of his bed, with his back facing Salle, “Labyu.” He adds.

            Salle snickered and took a sip from his own cup. “May donuts pa dito.”

             “Later.” Neo said as he put his cup on his bedside table and picked up his fully packed duffel bag from the floor then dropped it on his bed, which landed, bouncing a few times because of its weight.

             Salle gave a questioning look, "Neo, ano ka ba isang gabi lang tayo doon?"

             "Well," Neo started, putting his hands on his hips and turning to the other, he held up a finger as he enumerated his reasons, "You just told me like five hours ago, you didn't specifically tell me where we're going, nor did you tell me what we're doing. Plus, it’s tagaytay, god knows what kind of weather there would be up there; _so_ ," he paused to wave a hand at his bag, "I'm bringing clothes that would fit any occasion." he finished his lecture and bent down to pick up his pouch he brought from the bathroom, shoving it inside his already loaded bag. As silence fell, Salle watched him pack, amused, then Neo's laptop suddenly started playing the first few beats of a song Neo's been trying to avoid since like… months ago. Neo strode over to Salle's side in no time, frantically reaching behind him to quickly press the spacebar on the keyboard, stopping the song.

             "Uy maganda 'yun ah." Salle muttered.

             "It's my laptop." Neo bit back quickly. He rested his hand on his chair's backrest which reminded him once again of the jacket. He peeled it off and tossed it at Salle which he caught.

              "Ayaaaan." he said, drawing out the word. He put down his coffee and held up his jacket in front of him.

             "This is why you’re here, no?" Neo said, going back to his packing.

            "Oo naman, tangina, tagal na nito sayo eh." Salle snickered, pushing himself off the desk and strode over to Neo's side. He placed his jacket on top of Neo's open bag. "Pero sa Sunday mo na lang ibalik."

             Neo raised his eye brow at him. He let a half smile rise on his lips and gathered his things including the jacket. "Are we going back to taft now?"

             "Nah."

             Neo fully faced Salle and now raised both brows, he had a smug look on his face. His voiced pitched higher, "You just want to sleep here don't you?!"

             Salle's eyes widened, a smile lighting up his face, "ah— ha? Pffft Hindi kaya." he said exaggeratedly, tossing his hand aside as if he tossed the idea away.

             Neo carried his things and walked pass Salle, gently nudging him with his body, a smug smile plastered on his face. Salle scratched the back of his neck, squinting his eyes, thinking about what to more to say to sound more convincing. Neo dropped his bag on the floor of the small hallway and draped the jacket over his bag. He then returned to his desk and turned to Salle again who was standing beside his bed. They caught each other's eye. Neo pointed at one of the donuts with a non-vocalized question.

             "Yeah. Sige. Para sayo 'yan." Salle answered.

Neo smiled again, taking the donut wrapped in white paper, then pulled the chair out and sat down with both his legs folded on it, his back to Salle. He started on his donut as he woke up his laptop from sleep mode.

Meanwhile, Salle wiped his hand across his face, facepalming himself as he shook his head smiling. He's ridiculous. He straightened up and twisted to grab Neo's frappe from the bedside table and went back to Neo’s desk, pulling up a chair next to him, and placed his frappe beside his laptop. He reached over to grab his coffee and sat down, staring at Neo. He was already scrolling through a website, while chewing on his donut that was held by the hand nearest to Salle and appeared completely unbothered by the racket.

             "So _have_ you eaten?" Neo asked, eyes still trained at his screen.

             "Oh uhh, yeah."

Still without looking, Neo held out his hand further, insisting Salle on the donut. Salle leaned in and took a big bite from Neo's hand. This caught Neo's attention. Salle looked back at him chewing slowly and waved his eyebrows suggestively. Neo rolled his eyes at him and placed the donut on his desk, moving both hands to the keyboard. Salle chuckled then sighed and sunk into his seat.

             "So, you’re not going to make sundo to Phil?" said Neo, making conversation again.

             "Pwede naman. Okay lang ba sayo?" Salle mumbled sleepily, he drew in closer to Neo, closing the space between them.

             "Ako nga nagtatanong, diba?"

Salle looked up at him again, the other still wasn't facing him, he was busy typing. Salle's arm had already gone beneath Neo's with how far he'd sunk on his chair, his face inches from Neo's upper arm. He closed his eyes, tipping his head down and leaned in, lightly pressing his nose and lips to Neo's arm. The other man froze, finally looking at down at Salle. The man in black didn't stop there, stepping his foot to the side, letting his covered thigh brush against Neo's, riding up his loose boxers a bit. Neo's held his breath.

             "Salle, what are you doing?" He asked slowly and quietly.

To this Salle snickered and shifted his body. He twisted his upper body to Neo and slid one arm through the space between the backrest of Neo's chair and his back, the other arm went under the desk and wrapped across Neo’s stomach. Salle pulled on him tightly, further pressing his face on Neo's upper arm, along with their upper bodies. Salle let out an audible half groan, half sigh.

             "Salle, what the fuck?!" Neo prostests, but he didn't pull away either. "Ano ba yan. You're so thirsty." Salle laughed into his arm. "Ang clingy mo huuuy!" Neo had then regained strength and started to pull away.

             Salle didn't let him. "Tulog na tayoo," he cooed.

             "Edi go to sleep na!"

             "Sabay tayoo,"

             "UGH," Neo sighed, pissed off.

             "Kunwari ka pa, gusto mo naman." Salle mumbled, into the other's sleeve quickly.

             "Ang landi!?!?!?!?" by then, Neo was already glaring at him, not genuinely. Though, he did push off Salle and stood up, the chair making a loud racket inside the silent unit.

             Salle braced his weight on Neo's chair, laughing. "Joke lang," he says in the middle of laughing, "halika na dito. Upo ka na uli. Joke lang. Hindi na."

Neo stomped back, sitting on the chair, his glare easing into a smile, he shook head. Salle adjusted himself as Neo sat next to him again, though he still casually rested his arm on Neo's backrest, lightly wrapping it around the other's shoulder, to which on the other side Salle still leaned his head on, innocently this time. He closed his eyes, just drowning in the feeling of being in close contact with the other. And the other let him, even leaning back sideways to let Salle be more comfortable. The other man yawned and neo snickered. He then tapped on his keypad and the first beats to Jensen and the Flip's [_Is This Love_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaI-RzGiyUU) started playing.

             "I like that song." Salle mumbled, sleepily.

             "Same." he answered softly.

_“…I was looking for some answers that you wore  
Dim lights, you're mine tonight…”_

As the song progressed, the calm rhythm began lulling Salle deeper into unconsciousness.

_“…We aimed for faults to which we hold we go  
tonight._

_tonight._

     _tonight_ , …”

With Salle’s presence melting into the warmth of Neo’s energy, Neo started to hear the lyrics of the song and not just the music. He slowly turned his head, careful not to disturb Salle’s head resting on his shoulder. The other’s fringe had fallen over his face. His sight closes in on him, the rest of the room, the rest of the world, melted away. Suddenly there was only Salle. There was only Salle.

_“… So is this love we're feeling?”_

                                His heart beat faster.

  
_“Is this love we are trying to do?”_

                                He slid his left hand down

                                from his desk.

  
_“Is this love we're makin?”_

                                He hesitantly slides it over the

                                other’s thigh that was grazing

                                on his.

  
_“Tell me is this love…”_

                                He slides his fingers down

                                further, cupping the curve of

                                his thigh.

  
_“...or just another night with you…”_             

                                He tightens his hold—

 

 

             "Pag-nakatulog ako dito, kakarga mo ko sa kama ha." Salle mumbled, sleep washing over his voice.

            Neo jumped. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath. He let it out, taking a second to come back into the presence of the room. The song melted away. Another second later, Neo softly shook his head. His hand remained its hold on Salle. He realized he hasn’t answered yet.

             He started uncertain, hesitant, "N-no man, I'm gonna leave you lying on this chair." Neo tried to keep it light.

             "Aaw,” Salle moaned, still speaking softly. “don't do that, I'll be driving tomorrow."

             "Edi… I will drive, duh."

Salle shot his eyes open and looked at Neo. "No way in hell." Neo gently snickered, letting go of the tension the built up just a few seconds ago. And Salle pulled away to stand, Neo’s hand sliding off. Neo placed it above his own, squeezing on the fabric of his boxers, drying the then dampened palm. Neo trained his eyes back on the laptop’s screen; another song started playing but all his care for it was gone.

Salle behind him, raised his arms up and stretched, before letting both fall gently on both of Neo's shoulders. "Good night," he greeted while squeezing the other's shoulders.

             "Night,"

But before Salle let him go, he bent down and quickly buried his lips in Neo’s soft hair, placing a quick kiss on his crown. Neo tipped his head back, surprised. They stared at each other that way; Salle towering behind him, with his hands resting on the other's shoulders and Neo leaning his head back on the other's stomach, looking up at him. They held their gaze.

             _Did he feel my hand?_

             _Was that too much?_

             _What now?_

             _What now?_

             Seconds later, Salle smiled softly and ruffled Neo's hair, before pulling away. Neo slowly dropped his head back down to face the screen, heat rising to his cheeks, chest pounding. He let a smile creep up on his face.

             _I shouldn’t have done that_ — _It should be illegal for him to do that_ — _we're not even together... Officially_ — _What? Ugh. Fuck it._ Neo spoke to himself internally. He flipped his arms to the air, expressing his frustration and finally bent the laptop's screen to close it.

Neo stood up, picking up his frappe and turned to find Salle on his phone, sprawled on _"his"_ side of the bed. He finished his frappe as he crossed the distance, throwing the empty cup in the trash bin next to the bedside table. He sat to get under the covers and lied down on _"his"_ side of the bed, his back facing Salle.

             Salle teased again, "Who's thirsty now?"

             "Shut up. Go to sleep." Neo dismissed.

Salle snickered. He moved over, closing in on the space between them to reach the bedside table, his arm stretching over the other's shoulder and pressing his chest to Neo's back. Salle placed his phone next to Neo's.

Once he pulled back, he didn't even think too much about it anymore and simply scooted closer to Neo as he lied beside him, now, intentionally pressing his chest to Neo's back. He hesitantly brushed his finger on Neo's hips, when the other didn't react, he further slid his fingers across the other's hips, wrapping around it. He pulled Neo into him. Salle breathed in on the back of Neo's neck, inhaling his scent, it was a bright aroma, similar to lemons. Salle lightly kissed the skin there, then nuzzled his face on the softness of it.

Neo discreetly, pushed back as if trying to be swallowed whole by Salle's warmth and possessive arm. He felt Salle smile into his neck, he smiled too.

 

~~~~~

_10:23 PM_

**Salle:** gising pa u?

 **Phil:**      bkt?

 **Salle:** Sama ka bukas diba?

 

_10:24 PM_

**Phil:** ¡Si, si! Basta kasama si Tomas db?

 **Salle:** yuz

 **Salle:** Pano ka puntang taft?

 

_10:25 PM_

**Phil:** commute?

 **Salle:** wag na, sunduin ka na namin.

 **Phil:** gege nung oras?

 

_10:26 PM_

**Salle:** 7am? Kung magising kami haha

 **Phil:** Hala? Galing ka pang taft?

                                   Commute na lang. Sayang gas.

 **Salle:** Mayaman ako.

 **Phil:** ina mo gago

 **Salle:**    HAHAHA dejk. Sa katip lang

                                   kami.

 

_10:27 PM_

**Phil:** Ah weh san kayo ni Cess? Tara

                                   town.

 

_10:28 PM_

**Salle:**    Hindi si Cess..

 

_10:29 PM_

**Phil:** AAAAAAAHHH AAAAYYYYY

 

_12:02 AM_

**Salle:**    GAgo

 **Phil:** di na pala kailangan pumunta ng

town para sa good time

 

_12:03 AM_

**Salle:**    Sapakin kita bukas.

 **Phil:** Maawa kayo sa mga katabi

                                   niyang kwarto ha

 **Salle:**    tang ina mo basta mga 7 ganon,

                                   sa town ka namin sunduin tutal

                                   gustong gusto mo naman

                                   pumunta don

 

_12:04 AM_

**Phil:** gege balikan mo na yung ibon mo

 

 

 

 

 


	2. SATURDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The timer hasn't stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please pay attention to the time stamps, kahit doon sa first chapter. Think of the in-betweens sa time stamps.  
> STOP. Re-read chapter 1.
> 
>  
> 
> Okay go,  
> Hello to BuKo mods, may pa-surprise po ako sainyo within the fic aaw. Also! This chapter contains a lot of PhilTomas. It's my 2nd OTP within the BuKo characters so yuss! And namiss ko si Mia from the [ BREAK FIC ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10785807) ahahaha
> 
> FINALLY,  
> This is the part where I mix the mods' canons, create my own head canons and fictionalize all of it, sooo, gets? Gets. AHAHA
> 
> #DontHurtMappy2k17  
> #ProtectNeo2k17  
> (I don't really have the right to use those bec I'm doing exactly the opposite of both OOPS)
> 
>  **Cock** \- Neo  
>  **FUCCBOi** \- Salle  
>  **Feeling Archer** \- Cessie  
>  **Katy Perry** \- Tomas  
>  **No Honor Du30** \- Phil

 

 

 

 

 

             **SATURDAY MORNING:**

_(7:21 AM)_

_**~*TEAM TAGS GC*~**_

      (Cessie, Salle, Neo, Tomas, Phil)

 **Cock:** Morning guys

 **No Honor Du30:** MORNING

 **Cock:** im just right infront of u

 **Katy Perry:** knock knock

 **No Honor Du30:** hu dur?

 **Katy Perry:** No

 **No Honor Du30:** No hu?

 **Katy Perry:** No ra Honor

 **No Honor Du30:** :( ipilit talaga.

 **Feeling Archer:** HUY SAN NA KAYO?!

 **Cock:** @Cessie we’re going there na.

                                 we’ve sundo Phil na.

 **Feeling Archer:** OKAY YAY

 **No Honor Du30:** TOOOOM ¿Dónde está?

 **Cock:** puñeta

 **Katy Perry:** ¡Que bien! ¡Estoy aqui en

                                           la calle España!

 **Feeling Archer:** PUTA PAALIS KA

                                                   PA LANG??

 **Katy Perry:** Lo siento. Late ako nagising.

 **No Honor Du30:** Ingat ka Toooms  <3

 **Feeling Archer:** ASAN SI KUYA?

 **Cock:** tulog pa.

 **No Honor Du30:** HAHAHA Pano he was

                                                    up all night eh.

 **Cock:** ??

 **Feeling Archer:** AAAAAYYYY

 **Cock:** ?????

 **Katy Perry:** HINDI KO GETS.

 **Cock:** ???????????

 **No Honor Du30:** kwento ko sayo later.

 **Cock:** ???????????????????

 **Feeling Archer:** ANG INGAY KUYA NEO??

 **Cock:** .

 **FUCCBOi:** Ang ingay niyo

 **FUCCBOi:** Natutulog pa ko

 **Cock:** NAGDADRIVE KA DIBA??

                                 MABABANGGA TAYO

 **FUCCBOi:** ssssshhhh. Red light naman

 **No Honor Du30:** Si Neo na raw

                                                     magddrive.

 **Cock:** g?

 **FUCCBOi:** fuccboi out~

_(No Honor Du30 is typing)_

**No Honor Du30:** Neo, in or out?

 **Feeling Archer:** AHAHHAHAHAHHAA

 **Katy Perry:** HINDI KO PARIN GETS?

 **No Honor Du30:** AHAHAHAHA

_(Cock is typing)_

_(Cock is typing)_

**Cock:** out

 **No Honor Du30:** HA?! ASLDJFHKSD

 **Feeling Archer:** ay sayang

 **Katy Perry:** ¿ ¿ ¿Qué???

 **Cock:** I mean out na me bec no more

                                data kayo talaga ugh

 **Cock:** see yall later

 

~~~~~

_(8:34 AM)_

_**~*TEAM TAGS GC*~**_

      (Cessie, Salle, Neo, Tomas, Phil)

 **Cock:** Tom ur the only one we’re

                                waiting for na lang.

 **FUCCBOi:** Sabihin mo sa driver wala

                                         siyang kwenta

 **Cock:** Mean ka

 **No Honor Du30:** Tooom ¡Te echo de

                                                     menos!

 **Katy Perry:** ¡ ¡ ¡ ¡yo también!!!!

 **Katy Perry:** miss ko na rin sarili ko, 

                                          noong ako’y isang batang

                                          musmos pa lamang.

 **Feeling Archer:** Tom, bfast muna kami

 **Feeling Archer:** sa

 **No Honor Du30:** sex

 **FUCCBOi:** mcdo

 **Cock:** Starbs

 **FUCCBOi:** Starbs nanaman??

 **Cock:** u cant stop me

 **Katy Perry:** okay huhuhu buy me

                                          food pls

 **No Honor Du30:** sige watchu want text

                                                   me

 **Katy Perry:** Kk rawr~

 **Cock:** sallleeee libre staaarbs

 **FUCCBOi:** Maya sa tags

 **Feeling Archer:** Kuya me alsooo!

 **FUCCBOi:** ugh

 **No Honor Du30:** TOOOMS INGAT!

 

 

             **SATURDAY NOON:**

_(12:11 PM)_

             “Nagugutom na ‘kooo!” The ombre haired boy whined from the back seat.

          “Ha? Kakaubos mo lang ng burger mo?” Answered Phil, with a hint of concern, he crouched down to reach into his bag; there was the sound of inflated plastic crunching and Phil pulled out a bag of Clover Chips. “Ito, gusto mo? Barbeque flavored.”

             “Hindi naman ako mabubusog diyan,” Tomas took the bag from Phil’s hands anyway, “but food is fuel.” He said brightly and ripped it open from the side.

               “Hindi naman healthy!—”

               “ _Ooooooooooooooooh do it all for me, for me, for me, for me now GIRL_.” It was Cessie making a ruckus and cut in on Phil and Tomas’ conversation, pushing against them as she belted out to Bruno Mar’s [_Versace on The Floor_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2UZlwTDGbY) playing from the car’s radio.

Salle in the driver’s seat, glanced from the rear view mirror, shaking his head, smirking as he kept his eyes back on the road. The car momentarily stopped because of a red light, giving Salle a few seconds to lean back. He rested his left elbow on the window pane and absentmindedly placed his finger on his lip, one of his mannerisms while driving. He took this time to take in the man seated on the passenger’s seat. Despite the obvious outdoor nature of their get together, Neo still wore a collared shirt, like he always did, for any occasion. The only difference was that this time it was a Hawaiian, floral themed polo-shirt and away from his usual light colored shirt, it was navy blue. Neo was staring out the window, slightly bobbing his head to the beat of the music as he quietly sang to himself.

_“…I unzip the back to watch it fall, while I kiss your neck and shoulders…”_

The radio sang, as the 80’s beat flooded the car, luring in on Neo’s figure and Salle got lost in a sort of trance, his eyes trailing down from the bump of Neo’s Adam’s apple to his exposed throat to where it disappeared under the buttons of his shirt—

                “KUYA GO NA!”

Salle jumped, immediately putting the car into gear but the clutch and gas pedals weren’t released properly and the engine was cut out.

                “Puta,” He muttered to himself. The sound of car horns blared from behind their car, “shit, shit,” he cursed as he frantically twisted the car key to get the engine back. Neo turned his head to the driver and curiously watched him flail around, with one of his eyebrows raised.

             “Ayan kasiiii,” Phil teased from the back, “Nakakadistract ba ‘yung pasahero mo?”

All three passengers at the back roared in laughter. The car jumped back into gear and it sped on, two seconds before the stoplight turned red again. They distanced themselves from the non-stop blaring of the other cars’ symphony.

             “Neo, sabihin mo nga sa driver na wala siyang kwenta,” it was Tomas this time, as he covered his mouthful of chips with dusted fingers, failing to suppress a laugh. Phil was hitting at Tomas’ shoulder as he laughed. Neo snickered, his lips ending at a pleasant smile.

             “Kuya, parang namumula ka yata!” Cessie, while she snorted, reached out to the front to poke her finger on Salle’s reddened cheek. Salle flicked her finger away.

A chorus of “Yieeeee”s sounded from the back. The man teased, shot a glare at the three through the rear view mirror. He flipped his middle finger at them and this had Neo laughing.

By then, _Team Tags_ , was driving on Tagaytay Rd, passing by Solenad. They left the metro at around ten in the morning, nearly half an hour after Tomas arrived. Of course he was greeted by Phil with a warm hug and had been given a take-out bag from McDonald’s. They had breakfast at Starbucks though, as Neo insisted. Salle had to scold him for having his second frappe in a span of a few hours. Neo argued that some people drank coffee in the day and night in the same 24 hours. After Tomas had settled, they took off, the back of the M3 loaded; Neo’s things taking up most of the space. They went through a few lanes of traffic in the highway, and the _Team Likod_ was killing the waiting time by catching up on each other’s lives or belting out to the car radio’s songs. _Team Harap,_ on the other hand, remained mostly quiet, apart from small banters aimed at Neo’s navigating skills and his frequent announcement every time a Starbucks shop was in sight.

It’s been a few months since they all last got together, but unfortunately not everyone was able to come, like Cessie’s bestie, Addie, Neo’s bestie, Mia, Salle’s brodie, Mappy. It was a spontaneous trip anyway that Salle and Cessie cooked up, literally just yesterday. They didn’t want to avail the free, one-night stay at _Taal Vista_ by themselves; they were already tired of each other sharing a unit from day to day.

The teasing of Salle died down as the black M3 smoothly curved along the clear, two-lane road. Trees were dancing outside the car as they passed by, the sun was up and the sky was surprisingly clear. It was easy for Neo to get lost in the view, it’s been a while since he’d seen so much greenery, apart from Salle’s presence of course. _Team Likod_ got quiet and when Salle glanced at them, they were already snoozing. Phil’s arm was cradling Tomas’ to him, his cheek on the other’s bright yellow hair and Tomas’ head resting on the other’s chest, both leaning in to each other, while Cessie found the warmest comfort in the rubber fabric of the window pane, sleeping with her mouth open. Then James Arthur’s [_Say You Won’t Let Go_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA%20) accompanied the peaceful silence in the car. The driver however, despite the peacefulness, wanted to hit the radio or at least change the station, shit-tired of hearing all these sappy songs which only reminded him of one guy.

 

             “Uy,” Salle began, barely catching Neo’s attention.

             “Mm?” Neo was on his phone.

             “Salamat ha,” He glanced at the other, “Kasi sumama ka. Nagcancel ka pa ng meeting.”

             Neo turned to him and met his eyes, dead pan serious and said, “For the starbs, bro.” then gave a small smile.

             _Bro?_ Salle chuckled. Neo let his smile spread across his face. A few seconds later, he leaned closer to the dashboard, lifting his back from rest. Neo positioned his hand as far as he can balance on the dashboard with the front of his phone facing them.

             “Salle, smile,”

             Neo cocked his head to the side, barely sticking his tongue out. Salle raised his right hand from the stirring wheel and made a peace sign, fully sticking his tongue out. Neo snapped several photos, their faces barely changing while the three at the back remained exactly the same. He brought his phone down, scanning the photos. Salle glanced at him to catch the other smiling, reaching his eyes. And he witnessed a rarity; seeing Neo smile showing his teeth. Salle felt as if he could die then and there, he turned back to the road with a stupid smile on his lips himself.

             A few minutes of silence fell back after Neo took the selfies, he was back to letting his eyes wander to the horizon outside the car. Neo slowly turned his head to look at Salle, the small smile returned, but slowly his soft eyes grew bigger, probably reaching its widest for the first time before—

             “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH”

Salle jumped, swerving the car, but avoided crossing the other lane. _Team Likod_ harshly jerked from their seats, waking them. They tightened their grip on whatever they could hold. Salle roughly forced his foot on the break, bracing the impact through the steering wheel as the tires screeched to a halt. Salle shook as he unbuckled his seatbelt and silently thanked the lord and all the lasallians brothers for the empty road because otherwise, they would have gotten into a terrible accident, risking everyone’s safety. The three jerked forward barely having enough time to brace themselves while Neo was able to absorb the impact gracefully.

             “NEO WHAT THE FUCK!?” Salle shouted at Neo, as he clutched his chest heaving. There was a silence, and the three at the back tried to regain their composure.

             “TOM OKAY KA LANG?!” Phil screamed at the other, frantically searching for any bruises on Tomas.

             “Oo…” He nodded quickly.

             “Kuya ano ba?!” Cessie accused.

             “NEO!?” Salle shouted again.

They all turned to him with knitted eyebrows and mouths hanging open, as Neo, who was still dazed and seemingly unfazed by the commotion, was looking past Salle, looking past the window. They all twisted their necks the other way to see what was it that made Neo scream.

             “PUTANG INA NAMAN NEO!” Salle shouted again, letting out an exasperated groan, dropping his face into both of his palms.

Tomas’ laughter rung, lifting the tension in the car. Phil, with his arm still wrapped around Tomas let out a sigh deep sigh, wiping his palm across his face, not knowing whether to laugh, cry or punch Neo in the face. Cessie simply had a confused look and was looking back and forth from Neo to the famous, tall, wide and modern Starbucks shop at Twin Lakes. Tomas’ laughter overpowered the energy in the car until Phil was also laughing while shaking his head at Neo.

Meanwhile Neo, still hypnotized by the glinting Starbucks shop, bent over, crossing to the driver’s seat and arching over Salle’s Lap. Neo leaned his weight on one hand pressed on Salle’s seat just outside the other’s lap, while the other finger reached to push down the window button on Salle’s door. A few cars drove by, horns blaring at Salle once again.

             “Sasapakin kita. Sasapakin talaga kita.” Salle muttered through his teeth, with his eyes closed and hands in fists over his lap as Neo crossed him. For the first time, he wasn’t weak being in close contact to him.

Neo raised his phone to the window and snapped pictures of the majestic coffee shop. Neo straightened up, smiling brightly at his phone then raised his head to look at Salle with the same smile. _Team Likod_ falling silent as they watched the two. Salle opened his eyes, glaring at the brightly smiling Neo, above his lap.

             “Can we go in?” Neo asked innocently, like he hadn’t risked everyone’s lives. _Team Likod_ snickered at the back.

             “NO, NEO. SIT THE FUCK DOWN!” Salle shouted at him, though he rather gently pushed Neo off him despite the frustration in his voice. _Team Likod_ roared with laughter. As Neo properly sat back down with a pout, Salle twisted his key to bring the engine back to life. After one more car that blared its horn at Salle as it passed by, Salle put the car into motion.

             “Hala Neo, ginalit mo nanaman si the hulk,” Tomas teased again, hysterically laughing. Phil and Cessie didn’t fall behind with the joke. Cessie wiped away her tears.

             “But you said—” Neo began, the sadness in his voice evident.

             “NO!” Salle ordered, “Shut up! Behave!”

Neo quietly sighed in defeat and leaned his head back on his window. The three at the back were nearly dying of hysterics, hitting each other. It was as if they were watching a sit-com of a couple. The rest of the drive to the hotel was uneventful and safer. Both Salle and Neo had let the incident pass since everyone seemed unharmed anyway. They drove peacefully.

 

 

             **SATURDAY AFTERNOON:**

_(3:27 PM)_

They arrived at _Taal Vista_ an hour after noon. Tomas was finally satiated with the lunch buffet, somehow after eating his bright yellow hair have managed to turn brighter, but that maybe just because Phil hasn’t seen him since a week ago. Right after lunch, all five of them did what all fit, healthy college kids in their prime did; they slept. All five didn’t even bother to unpack their things; as soon as Salle unlocked the door. They all dropped their bags at the hallway and jumped right onto the beds. Tomas was already claiming the bed nearest to the bathroom, Phil followed suit, playfully draping himself over Tomas, and they fell asleep that way. Now the problem was that there were only two beds that fit two people each.

             “Call na lang tayo, then borrow tayong extrang bed, I’ll sleep on the floor na.” Salle said casually answering the question in their heads. Neo who stood in front of him turned to him with concern. Cessie in the middle of the two glanced from one to the other, trying to contain her _kilig_. Salle noticed Neo’s concern, “Unless you want to sleep on the floor?” he teased.

             “Well uhmm… ye—” Salle playfully placed a finger on Neo’s lips.

             “Tut tut tut,” He teased, “It’s okay rich kid, sayang naman ‘yung dinami-dami ng clothes mo, kung sa floor ka lang mags-sleep.”

             Neo rolled his eyes and snapped his head aside, walking away to claim the bed that Salle insisted not sleep on and sprawled himself on it. Cessie nudged Salle’s side with her elbow as she passed by before following to Neo’s side. They all began to snooze the moment they heads felt the freshly pressed sheets and without the extra bed ringing their door yet, Salle resorted to curl himself on the couch which he was too small to accommodate his large frame. Though, before he could lose himself to sleep, he felt a set of fingers curling on his. Salle opened his eyes to see Neo standing above him, their fingers linked together. Salle raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

             “You should rest on the bed.” The other answered quietly.

             Salle cocked his head to the side, calmly gazing at the other's eyes, swinging their fingers a bit.

             “Really,” Neo’s hold tightened, “You’ve been driving… and I've caused you enough inconvenience.”

             Salle snickered at this, turning his head away for a second before swinging his legs off the armrest, their fingers never separating. With everyone confirming their unconsciousness with their chorused snores, Salle towered over Neo and briefly pressed his lips to the other’s forehead. “Thanks,” he muttered to his skin. Salle slid off his fingers from the other's and took his place on the bed next to a snoring Cess. Once Neo had taken his place on the couch, he felt something hit him hard at his back, though it wasn’t painful at all; Salle had thrown a pillow at him. Neo smiled him a thank you and repositioned the pillow behind his neck. They all caught up on their sleep.

 

Tomas splashed back into the water for the third time and Cessie was deemed winner for that round of pool chicken fight. First it was Cessie on her brother, who was claimed winner, then she passed this title to Neo who was on Phil, then held the title through a round with Tomas on Salle. With Neo’s consecutive wins, they all decided to turn against him, pulling him into the water. Phil made things easier by simply sinking down. Neo playfully pretended to drown, and Cessie took the lead in playing along.

             “Our prince of the north blue is drowning!” Cessie gasped, parting the water with her hand as if to be in search of much needed assistance, a savior perhaps. “Mag-tigil po iyong kaharian!” she was throwing herself on Phil now.

             “Anong maipag-lilingkod ko sa ‘yo, indio,” Phil answered, changing the tone of his voice an octave lower. Cessie whacked him on his bare chest. “Aray!”

             “Indio ka diyan?!”

             Phil changed back to the character’s voice, “Paumanhin, senyora!”

             “Bilis nakakapagod malunod,” Neo teased.

             “Tagal naman ng cue ko!” Salle shouted from a distance.

             Tomas’ sounded laugh filled in the light atmosphere, but it subsided as he too played a part in their impromptu water production. Tomas swam over to Neo, jumping on his back under the water and lightly wrapped his thin arm around Neo’s neck in a threatening manner. “Kapag hindi niyo sa amin binigay ang panalo ng basketball sa UAAP season 80, ITO NA ANG HULING BESES NIYONG MAKIKITA ANG BUGHAW NIYONG IBON.”

             “Ah wala, malunod ka na diyan, panalo parin kami.” Said Salle smugly.

             Neo quietly sank into the water. All three gasped exaggeratedly.

             “Prinsepeng Lunti!” Cessie called over, gasping, too involved in her acting. “Nalulunod ang bughaw na ibon! Siya’y hindi marunong lumipad sa ilalim ng tubig!” She extended an arm to Salle and wailed.

             “Neooo!!” Salle called out in the same exaggerated manner, reaching under the water in slow mo before he swam straight in, both _“princes”_ disappeared under water. A pretend tension rose between the three who were left above. It was five seconds, then it was ten seconds.

             Cessie threw her arm above her eyes and began wailing, “Ang ating mga prinsipeee!!”

             Phil clutched his chest, bowing and Tomas threw himself on Phil, with the same wailing manner. “Hindi namin makakalimutan kung paano niyo dinepensahan ang inyong kampon noong nakaraang laban sa basketbol ngayong taon.” Phil wiped away fake tears, sniffling. “Hari nawa mapasainyo ang kapayapaan.”

             Cessie wailed once more, “HINDI KO TANGGAP! HINDIIIII—”

And that’s when Salle victoriously emerged from the water, lifting Neo by his arms, carrying him bridal style. Neo stretched his arms gracefully to the heavens, accepting his breath for a second chance at life!

They cried and wiped fake tears of joy, until Tomas finally dropped character laughing hysterically. They all dropped character, laughing and started splashing water at each other. The only one who didn’t drop character and still had his arm stretched up was Neo, so Salle threw him back in the water. Salle laughed when Neo rose from the water with eyes already playfully glaring. Salle flashed him his toothy grin and ran his fingers through his wet hair combing it out of the way, his triceps baring all its glory, clearly aware that Neo was staring at him.

             Neo raised his hand at the three, “Can I drown again?”

 

 

             **SATURDAY NIGHT:**

_(8:42 PM)_

       “Alam mo dapat, isulat natin yung impromptu natin kanina," Tomas declared enthusiastically, rolling his bottle from one hand to another. “We’ll call it, ‘Si Prinsipeng Lunti at Prinsipeng Bughaw’ or, ‘Ang championship title ng UST sa season 80’—”

             “No.” Said Salle with certainty.

             Phil chuckled loudly, clapping his hands, “Tangina si Cessie, give na give talaga eh.”

           “Well,” Cessie began, raising her arm, with her palm facing up and her elbow bent. “I don’t go to an art school for no reason,” she finished with a smug look.

Salle snickered and took a swig at his bottle, bittersweet alcohol washing his throat. He laid the glass back down on the table and after wiping his lips with the back of his hand, rested his elbows on it, leaning in. Next to him was Neo who in contrast, was leaning back on his chair. He simply smiled at them, while one arm rested on the table, cupping his bottle.

 _Team Tags_ had just finished their day activities, their last being another buffet for dinner, but after stuffing themselves, Salle insisted on skipping on the early sleep in. They’d asked for what it was he would rather they did. “Fellowship,” was Salle’s only reply. Tomas and Phil shared a confused look, while Cessie gave Neo a knowing one. Neo simply sighed, snickering to himself.

             “Restrain yourself Cess, you’re under surveillance.” Neo told her.

And so they sat, changed back into their soaked swimwear with shirts on, at the bar area near the pool. They breathed the cool breeze of the night of Tagaytay, the surrounding palm trees were swaying just as they had been earlier and the black sky, cleared, making way to showcase the moon accompanied by stars in all their glory. It was a rare opportunity to witness them, what with drowning in the bright lights in the metro. The atmosphere was peaceful; the only ruckus made was by these five university kids.

They found a round table. Salle and Neo sat next to each other and faced the other three on the opposite side. “Fellowship” as Salle explained is a make-shift ice breaker he played with among close friends. The rule is simple, at the center of people gathered in a circle is a bottle laid on its side and is spun, before the bottle stops, everyone should take a drink of their beverage and whoever the rim of the bottle lands on, will be victimized with one question. All kinds of questions under the sun, apart from the innocent ones.

             “So ano,” Salle began, licking his lips. “Shall we begin with our fellowship?”

             “Game!” The three answered in unison. Neo remained silent, unwillingly agreeing.

Salle reached below him to take an empty bottle he finished earlier from the tiled floor. He laid it at the center and thus the game began. And the first to fall victim was Cessie. Cessie groaned. Neo snickered.

             “Cessie!” Salle began, putting down his bottle hard, flashing a devious smile. “So bakit hindi ka pa umaamin kay Addie?”

Phil and Tomas leaned in, very interested in the topic at hand that, brought about by this game. Neo softly shook his head smiling.

             “Sobra ka naman kuya!” Cessie whined, “Isn’t there like, levels of questions! Personalan kagad?”

             “Just answer the question, Cess,” Salle snorted.

             Cess sighed. “Eh kasi…” she searched for words. “She has feelings for someone else eh.” Cess looked up directly at Salle, with hurt in her eyes that Salle clearly missed.

             “Ay weh? Sino?” He asked with genuine curiosity. Cess was unable to further give an answer.

             Neo turned his head to Salle. _Manhid ka_. He told Salle, in his head.

             “Ops! One question lang diba?” Phil intervened.

             “Fine.” Salle spun the bottle again. Cess huffed with relief. Neo then turned to her and he concerned himself with the hurt in her eyes.

As they drank while the bottle spun, it lands on Tomas. He smiled brightly, greeting the anticipation of the question with an open mind.

             “So Tomas,” It was Cessie who asked next, “Are you the top or bottom?” she asked with a devil’s smile, raising an eyebrow at him.

             “Levels my ass,” Salle spited.

             Tomas blushed, caught off guard with her question. He and Phil shared a glance. Phil nodded and Tomas giggled as he turned back to Cessie. “Top,”

There was a simultaneous reaction of surprise among the three. A howl arose from Salle, Cess gasped, clasping a palm to her mouth, and even Neo had his eyes widened by the answer.

             “Most of the time. Eh pano,” Tomas added, “power bot.” he finished, cocking his head to Phil. Phil snorted at their reaction which was another round of surprise.

             “This game is getting good,” Salle muttered. He spun the bottle once again. As they finished another swig, the bottle’s rim finally landed on Neo. There was a pregnant pause from everyone. Salle turned to him. There were too many questions which one should he ask first should he ask them now even with the others around shouldn’t it be more private did he get to ask were they all quiet to let him ask— He couldn’t find it himself to get a word out. From Phil came the first word, breaking the pause.

             “AKO—”

          “Neo virgin ka pa ba?!” Tomas blurted out. Phil and Cessie groaned. Neo hesitantly smiled, attempting to look pleased with the question, convinced of the miracle of how he avoided the obvious one that concerned the man next to him, who let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He too, relieved at being spared.

             “Mali naman tanong mo eh!” Phil scolded Tomas, whining.

             “Ha? Eh Neo’s very reserved kaya, who knows diba?”

             “Actually.” Said Cess, nodding in agreement, eyebrows raised. Salle still remained quiet, too lost in his own thoughts, but all the while interested in the other’s answer. Is _he still a virgin?_

           Neo smirked at them, his eyes casted down on his beverage. His long lashes barely fluttering his cheek, Salle watched in anticipation. Neo was contemplating whether he would answer honestly or not. He did. “No.”

             “Ha?!” From the three and a quiet, eyes widened shock from Salle.

             “The front or back?!”

             “A guy or girl?!”

             “Did you come?! —”

            “GUYS JUST ONE QUESTION!” Salle yelled, grabbing the bottle from the table. They all groaned, leaning back. Neo chuckled. Lifting his eyes up to Salle. Salle was clearly pissed, his jaw clenched, brows knitted. Salle didn’t know if it was really because they bombarded him with such private questions all at once and he didn’t want them invading it so haphazardly or if it was because the only person he actually, genuinely cared about was no longer a virgin and another person has probably brought mind blowing pleasures to him, and he hasn’t, or if it was that he _didn’t_ know whether it was a man or a woman that Neo did it with, or if it was the simple fact that he didn’t even _know_ he was no longer a virgin and Neo never told him about it!

             Neo suddenly leaned in to take the bottle from Salle, he put it back down and pointed its mouth to himself. He leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms. “The back. It was a guy. It happened years ago.” He flatly, almost angrily, shot fired the questions. “Any more questions?”

They all had their jaws down, even Salle. The man couldn’t process Neo’s words.

             “Ever done it with a girl?” Tomas wasn’t done.

             “No.” was his simple answer that marked the end of this round.

             “Okay tama na,” it was Salle. Neo finally let him take the bottle. “Move on na? Pwede?” he spun it. The man next to him gave a soft snicker, a soft smile, before letting it melt away into a frown. It wasn’t his usual passive, unamused expression. The frown touched his eyes. He was still staring at Neo while the bottle spun, forgetting to drink. Neo still had his eyes casted down on his drink, not minding to consume it as well, looking as if his thoughts were somewhere else completely. It concerned Salle. Maybe he shouldn’t have let him answer the follow ups.

          “Ayaaaan.” It was Phil’s voice that rung Salle’s attention back to the rest of them. He swung his head to Phil and then at the bottle below, it was pointed at him. Phil, Tomas and Cessie all looked to each other, a conversation through their eyes. “Oh Tomas ayusin mo na ‘yung tan—”

             “I have a question,” Said Neo softly, but audible enough to cut in. Phil clicked his tongue; Cessie waved a hand at him without looking, prying him to pay attention as she and Tomas did. Salle turned his head back to Neo. The other took a second before pulling his eyes from his bottle up to Salle. They all waited in silence, tension rose the longer Neo took. “Ano…” They all leaned forward apart from Salle. Neo looked Salle directly in the eyes. “Ano ba kayo ni Don?” All three pairs of eyes before them switched to Salle.

        Salle let out a breath ending with a snicker, he accepted Neo’s eye contact before answering. “Wala.”

             _Talaga?_

             “Eh bakit ang landi mo sakanya?” It was Tomas again.

             “Malandi naman siya sa lahat, diba?” Phil answered Tomas.

             _Diba_? Thought Neo.

          “Eh kuya,” Cessie took a second. “Pano kung meron na pa lang feelings para sayo si Mappy?”

           All eyes were on Salle again. He snorted at this thought, looking at Cessie. “Pffft Si Mappy? May feelings para sakin?”

             _Manhid ka talaga._ The same hurt from earlier washing over Neo’s features.

             Salle waved the thought away and turned back to Neo before saying, “Friends lang kami non.”

All three quietly let his answer register and their eyes switched back to Neo, waiting for his reaction.

          “No further questions your honor.” He said, finally looking away from Salle. But he did have a lot of questions, too many of them.

Salle finally looked away from Neo. The three looked to each other once more as if to adjourn their agreement in accepting Salle’s answer. Cessie reached out to take the bottle.

             “Game?” She asked.

             “Game!” It was only Phil and Tomas who answered. And so she spun the bottle.

The group of five had lost two members by that time, both Neo and Salle started to care less about their fucking game, fellowship, whatever, and cared more about the answers of the other, they were lost in thoughts, in more unanswered questions. They couldn’t even be bothered to drink anymore. Finally, the bottle, by defying all probabilities of physics, landed on Phil, completing all five of them as victims. Both Neo and Salle let out a breath, Neo’s more discreetly.

             “Anything you want to ask your boyfriend?” Salle asked Tomas. Tomas thought about it, eyes turning to the sky and placed a finger to his lip. He hummed as he thought. Phil patiently waited, a loving smile plastered on his face matched with the same loving gaze at his lover.

             “Kelan mo narealize na mahal mo na pala ako?” Tomas asked, looking down to see Phil.

Their eyes caught each other, and suddenly the presence of other three melted away. Cessie displayed a toothy grin. Salle glanced at Neo, his features had softened, for the first time that day.

             “Actually,” Phil began. “Di ko na talaga maalala. Pero… sa tingin ko, it was that time na sinundo kita mula sa Jollibee after ng shift mo ng mga ten ng gabi, mula pa kong diliman ‘non. Tangina Toms lakas pa yata ng ulan noong araw na ‘yon. Baha pa sainyo, punyeta. Ang alam ko sabado pa ‘yon eh. As in pinilit ko talagang kitain ka kasi sobrang shit nung week mo ‘non. Finals mo ata?—”

Phil paused because Tomas laced his fingers with his, their elbows bent, resting on the chair’s armrest, displaying their love for everyone to see without shame. Cessie looked as if she would nearly die of _kilig_. Salle had absentmindedly leaned in closer to Neo. Neo’s features softened even further, showing more emotion than he usually did outside the private bubble he’s shared numerous amount of times with the man next to him.

             “Tapos halos dalawang oras lang naman tayo nagsama sa dorm mo, nandon pa lahat ng roommates mo, ta’s wala ka namang ginawa kundi iyakan ako.” Phil let out a sounded laugh fondly remembering that moment, “Tapos bumalik na kong diliman, mga alas tres na ko nakarating, puta mas mahaba pa commute ko papunta’t pabalik kaysa sa oras na nakasama kita. Habang nasa FX ako, ‘yun yung mga panahon na nagparamdam na lahat ng mga tanong. Tinanong ko sarili ko, ‘putangina Phil, bakit ka ba nagpapakahirap ng ganito para sakanya?’, tapos ‘yung wala akong ounce of regret, kahit plakda ako sa kama pagdating ko sa condo…” When Phil finished, Cessie squealed with much _kilig_. “Ayun… Noon ata.”

By then, Tomas’ cheeks had reddened brightly, almost as bright as his hair. His eyes had disappeared with his big smile and squealed, squeezing Phil’s hand and nuzzling his face into it. While Cess ogled at the giggling couple, Salle’s eyes found its way back to Neo. Neo had his frown back, with eyes trained at his bottle.

             _What is it? What’s wrong?_ Salle asked Neo, in his head.

             “Aaaw, I’m like so kiliged right now!” the sound came from Cessie in the back ground. “Kuyaaaa when na ba kasi magiging kayo ni kuya Neo!”

           Cessie slapped her palm to her mouth. Tomas gasped. Phil laughed. And the pair in question shot the girl a look of surprise. Neo choked in a cough, his cheeks reddened. “Oopsie.” Cessie said quietly.

              “Ikaw naman pala unang bibigay eh!” Tomas teased Cessie with a laugh.

             Salle sighed deeply with the same shade of red on his cheeks as with Neo’s. He couldn’t turn his head back to the man anymore. He took his bottle, “Inom na lang tayo.” He raised his bottle. The others followed suit, Neo, grabbing his too quickly.

             Cessie stopped them before their bottles clinked. “Wait, cheers to what?”

             “To love?” Tomas suggested. They all cringed, except for Phil.

             “To lahat ng umaasa?” Cessie suggested. Neo softly nodded.

             “Hindi. Alam ko na,” it was Phil this time, “para sa mga buhay natin,” he paused, taking a second to look at everyone. They all looked at each other, anticipating Phil’s next words. “Sa buhay kolehiyo,” he finished with a genuine smile. They all genuinely smiled back at each other like how friends made a pact of friendship for a lifetime.

             Cessie raised her bottle once again, “Para sa buhay kolehiyo.”

             “Para sa buhay kolehiyo,” they all answered, bumping their bottles with a loud clink of youthfulness. They chugged down their liquid to the last drop, finishing with a released breath of spirits.

             “Cheesy natin gago,” Salle commented, ending their fellowship.

 

The walk back to the hotel room was rather long, and they took all their time to get there, reveling in the peacefulness of the place. Cessie was third-wheeling Phil and Tomas who walked hand in hand, swinging it. Salle and Neo hung a few steps back; they were quiet, as they always were when their feelings got the best of them.

Neo unintentionally-intentionally brushed the back of his fingers to Salle. Salle was quick and immediately laced his fingers with the other’s. He was too quick for Neo and caught him by surprise. Both their cheeks were reddened and looked the other direction.

             _What now?_

             _What now?_

Neo had wanted to feel safe, comfortable like how he always did when Salle held his hand, but somehow right now he didn’t. He felt frantic, he felt like he wanted to run miles away and hide from him. Because of what? Shame? Truth? Why did he even hint on him to hold it in the first place?

             _What now?_

             _What now? Salle, fucking say something. He just basically requested you to hold his hand!_

             “Uhmm…” He tried. The image of Neo frowning earlier resurfaced. “Neo…” he searched for words hesitantly and settled with, “O-okay ka lang ba?”

Neo swung his head back to him. _He’s always asking me that_. He looked down at their hands linked. _No. No I’m not okay. You got me again. You always do_.

Salle for the nth time that day, looked back at Neo, observing him as he looked at their hands. Waiting. He always had to be patient with him.

In the slightest manner, Neo shook his head. He didn’t look up to Salle. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t. Neo squeezed on Salle’s fingers before he let go.

             _What?_

             _I’m sorry._

Salle stopped in his tracks, lips slightly parted, hurt and all the name of confusion written in his eyes. He stared at Neo’s back, advancing on the three before them. His hand that he held Neo’s with, tightened into a fist and jammed it into his pocket and resumed walking. He had his brows furrowed. He was so lost. Only Neo could ask him for something like that and then reject him a second later.

             _What was wrong with him?_

A few steps passed and he remembered Neo’s frown again.

             _There’s something he’s not telling me_.

Salle gets that, he gets that Neo’s not okay, but why the fuck does he have to be so rude. He fucking rejected him just like that after literally asking for attention?

             _What the fuck Neo?!_

A few more steps, after weighing in his frustration and Neo’s well-kept frustration that he refuses to talk about, his knitted brows eased. He sighed deeply, relaxing his shoulders.

             “So ako nanaman mag-aadjust.” He said to himself. He kicked a rock.

 His frustration melted away with another heavy breath. _Be patient_. He reminded himself.

 

Neo caught up a step behind Cessie. Once she felt his presence, as if she’d already understood, she looked at him with a hopeful concern that said, “It’s okay, I’m here for you.” She swung her arm through Neo’s and leaned in on his shoulder. Neo offered his arm to her and leaned his head to the side atop of hers. As if it was a rehearsed cue, Tomas and Phil broke away from each other, the former moving to Neo’s other side, chatting away, and the latter, momentarily stopped, waiting for Salle to pass by.

             Phil swung his arm across the taller man’s shoulder, Salle accepted it. “Pa-fellowship ka pa kasing nalalaman eh,” Phil opened as they walked. Salle snickered, the weight in his chest lifting a little. Phil always knew how to get through him with his comedy.

             “Ginusto ko ‘to eh,” Salle played along, pain still evident.

             “Tanga ka kasi.”

Salle accepted, nodding.

             “So, ano nangyari?” Phil asked, seriously this time.

             “Pare, hindi ko alam.”

             “Niregla ba si gago?”

             “Pasasampal kita kay Cess.”

             Phil laughed. “Don’t tell her I said that… Eh bakit iniwan ka niya dito sa likod?”

             Salle sighed deeply, “Ewan ko. Parang naghint kasi siya to hold his hand,”

             “Tapos?”

             “Tapos ako naman si gago, hawak ako right away.”             

             “Tapos?”

             “Tapos ang awkward, tapos…! TAPOS….!—” Salle trailed off, lost for words. “Tapos ewan ko! Punyeta!” his voice rose as his brows furrowed in frustration.

             “Oh pare hinga.”

            Salle took in a long breath, calming himself before answering. “Hindi naman usually ganon when we’re holding hands eh. So shet sabi ko, I have to say something.”

             “And you said?”

             “I said, ‘Neo okay ka lang?’”

             “And okay lang daw ba siya?”

             “Obviously hindi.” Salle swung his hands to the sky before he looked at Phil, a cry for help written in his face.

             “Alam mo kasi pare,” Phil started, placing the tips of his fingers to his head and got Salle’s hopes up. Salle waited, anticipating a meaningful advice. “…Kasi hindi ko rin talaga alam eh.” Salle groaned at this. “What I mean is, sa ating apat na nandito na kasama ng Neo na ‘yan, eh ikaw lang naman ang pinaka nakakakilala sakanya.” Salle took a second to let it sink in. “Kita mo nga kagad pag may problema siya kahit hindi niya pinapakita eh. Para kang may 20/20 vision sa pagkakakilala sakanya.” Phil gestured to the sky, stretching his hand twice. The only thing Salle could do was nod. “Kaya for me lang naman,” he paused, bring his hand back to his chest. Salle looked at him once more, “kausapin mo na lang siya.”

             “Tangina? Eh he left me nga?!”

            “Tanga, ikaw naman eh,” Phil shook his head at Salle’s reaction, tossing a hand at him. “Alam mo namang hindi open book ‘yan si Neo. Baka naman nahihiya lang kasi nandito pa kaming tatlo.” Salle nodded considering this.

             “Oh kelan ko siya kakausapin?”

             “Puta ako pa ba mag-iisip non?”

             “Madalas ka namang nag-iisip diba? Kaya ka nga nag-aaral sa UP.” Salle half teased.

                “Alam mo ikaw na nga tinutulungan, ikaw pa demanding.” Phil accused. Salle only chuckled. “Ewan ko. Dalhin mo sa starbucks!” Phil suggested jokingly.

They let out a joint sigh. Salle only wished talking to Neo was as easy as talking to Phil. Though, in the end of it all, he’d never ever want to exchange all the difficulty of it for anything. Neo’s a fucker who’s doesn’t express feelings and keeps to himself, but Salle has learned that there is always a way to get through him. And he’ll willingly find all of those way no matter how difficult it would be. He loves Neo. He’d do anything for him.

 

Ahead of them, the three were having a similar conversation simultaneously.

             “So… What happened?” It was Cessie who opened it.

             Neo sighed, “I don’t know, Cessie.”

             “Why did you leave him behind ba, Neo?” It was Tomas this time. A pang of guilt suddenly hit Neo, realizing that he _did_ leave Salle.

           “I… I don’t know rin,” Neo answered again, with a deeper tone of tiredness. “I’m just…” He searched for words, trying to keep his cool. “I’m just so malabo rin kasi sometimes.”

             “Eh ikaw naman pala eh.” Tomas teased.

             “Kuya, is this because of his answer about Kuya Mappy?”

             Neo’s eyes widened. He felt his chest tighten. “… partly.” He admitted.

             “Is there something else, kuya?” Cessie asked, planting her chin on his arm, looking up with utmost care.

             “No.” A second. “Y-yes,” he hesitated. He shook his head, dismissing the thought away. “No.” Cessie pouted at him. Tomas reached hand to Neo’s back, rubbing it for comfort. They both felt the weight of the jumbled thoughts in Neo’s head that he was unable to express properly.

             “Hay nako, I don’t know talaga.” He said for the third time, in a half sigh, this time he sounded lighter, paying his frustration forward to a subtle laugh. “Sleep na lang tayo… Baka pagod lang to.” He added jokingly. Oddly uncharacteristic of him.

             Cessie and Tomas smiled at him admiring his attempt to keep things light. “Stop over-thinking too much kasi, kuya Neo.” She chimed at him, beaming.

Her smile was contagious, not to mention Tomas’ too. Neo couldn’t help but smile, even for a little while. He wrapped each of his arms around both of them and hugged them tightly. “I think I’ll survive being with Salle even if Mia’s not around… Since I have both of you.” Tomas and Cessie in unison sounded with a touching, “Aaaaaaw”. “Thank you.” Neo finished.

He wished things were this easy with Salle. That he could let go of thinking too much just like that, but of course he couldn’t. It wasn’t remotely possible. Salle was different from them; from Cessie, from Tomas, from Mia. Salle wasn’t in the same category as his other friends. He loves Salle. That was the difference.

 

~~~~~

_(10:09 PM)_

They arrived at their room. Salle’s extra bed had been placed on the floor next to Cessie and Neo’s shared one. They finally got into their beds after a long day. For Cessie, Tomas and Phil, the day had ended, blissfully surrendering themselves to slumber. For Salle and Neo however, this day seemed endless. Neo lied in bed, nearly glaring at the ceiling, one hand above his phone which lay on his stomach, the other hand tucked underneath his head pillow.

_“Neo virgin ka pa ba?”_

_“No.”_

_“Ano ba kayo ni Don?”_

_“Wala. Friends lang kami.”_

It’s been replaying in Neo’s head. He wished Tomas never asked that question. He wished he never answered it. _What if Salle found out?_ Tears began to prickle Neo’s eyes. _He can’t have caught up on that_. He was good at hiding things… but unfortunately Salle was the only person he couldn’t hide things from. And he lets him. He lets him in. He lets his guard down when it’s Salle. But why does he? He knows he’s just playing around. He always does. _He’s so stupid_. He’s so stupid to not realize that that fucking Don is in love with him. What makes Neo think his own feelings are any different? What makes Neo think Salle’s not too stupid enough to realize how fucking in love he is with him?

Neo huffed a sigh in his frustration. He forced back his tears from falling. _I need to talk to Mia_. He thought to himself. As if on cue, his phone buzzed on his stomach.

 

 

_10:21 PM_

**Green:** Tulog na uy.

 

Neo wanted to cry again. The man was literally just under the bed. He sniffled as quietly as he possibly can and forced himself to answer.

 

_10:21 PM_

**Blue:** ingay mo kasi.

 **Green:**    ikaw kaya sumigaw kaninang

                                     umaga sa car??

 

Neo couldn’t help admiring how Salle was trying to keep it light, just after he’d left him hanging some minutes ago.

 

_10:24 PM_

**Blue:** … sorry na.

 **Green:**    Hahaha okay lang. Hayaan

                                      mo na. Naexcite ka lang.

 

             _Yeah well what about kanina? When I left you hanging? Aren’t you fucking mad at me?_

_10:24 PM_

**Blue:** :)

 

             _What now?_

             _What now?_

_10:26 PM_

**Green:**    Okay ka lang?

Neo was unable to stop his ragged intake of breath through clogged nosed, the sound unavoidably reaching Salle.

 

_10:27 PM_

**Blue:** haha idk

 **Green:**    Wanna talk abt it?

 

_10:31 PM_

**Green:**    Tulog ka na ba?

 **Blue:** hindi. You can see kaya?

 **Green:**    Yeah. I can see that

                                     something’s been on your

                                     mind since the fellowship.

 

_10:32 PM_

**Blue:** I didn’t get my starbs thats

                                     whats on my mind

 **Green:**    weh? Sorry sinigawan kita

                                      kanina…

 **Blue:** nah its okay

 

_10:33 PM_

**Green:**    Wanna get it now?

 

_10:34 PM_

**Blue:** its late

 **Green:**    bukas sila till 1

 

_10:35 PM_

**Blue:** Alam na alam?

 **Green:**    naman

 

_10:36 PM_

**Green:**    ano tara?

 

             _Why are you so fucking nice to me after how shitty I am to you putangina!_

_10:36 PM_

**Blue:** Libre mo?

 **Green:**    ano pa nga ba

 **Green:**    pero only if u make

                                    kwento of whats bothering u

 

_10:37 PM_

**Blue:** wag na pala

 **Green:**    ulul tumayo ka na diyan

                                     sayang load.

 

Neo had to laugh. There was a ruffling of sheets below him, and Salle emerged from his view. Salle faced away from him as he stood, even as he patted Neo’s thigh under the thick blanket before he walked to the front of the room to gather his keys and wallet from the table drawer where the TV stood. Salle bent over his duffel bag next to it, before he disappeared into the bathroom. Neo watched him until he heard the click of the door. He removed the covers over him and stood. He bent back to neatly tuck the blanket back to Cessie’s comfort. He strode over to the closet where his own loaded bag had been. He took out some shorts, and before closing the closet, he grabbed Salle’s jacket.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY THURSDAY!
> 
> I hope ya'll have forgiven Phil after this.
> 
> I just wanna say, I mildly patterned Neo's external attitude with that of Nanase Haru's and of course PhilTomas is a closer to home version of NagisaRei FOR ME LANG NAMAN and are all from the anime, Free!. Like everytime I had to write Tomas' name I had to think of Nagisa first. THAT MUCH YUH.


	3. SATURDAY 0.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The timer still hasn't stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter heavily references [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10785807)  
> so I highly suggest you read that first.
> 
> Please proceed, with the utmost caution. Bec although I didn't put it in the warnings, it can and might trigger some readers. So please... Safety muna mga kaibigan.
> 
> This chapter is also really heavy. I had to stop writing multiple times and stop myself from re-reading bec it was just heavy like that. (That's why it took so long to finish.) With that being said, PLEASE REMEMBER that this is all fictionalized. Personally, what I have written here isn't what I accept as part of my head canon that is heavily based on Buhay Kolehiyo's, it's simply just part of this story. So pls... dnt attack me lol. 
> 
> Many wanted Salle's perspective on things, thus, I delievered (hopefully).
> 
> Finally, this chapter is dedicated to [@mtchplz](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mtchplz). The trust you put in me as you shared me your words never left me, and it makes me unbelievably happy that you've met her.

 

 

 

 

 

_(11:02 PM)_

             “Do you think they’re okay?” Asked Tomas, concerned. “Hindi ba sila sumasagot?”

             “No eh.”

The three left in the room had gathered on Cessie’s bed, assessing the situation at hand of a missing Salle and Neo from their hotel room. Cessie had been the first to discover their absence as her phone rang relentlessly, pulling her back to consciousness. It was her mother and she had scolded Cessie for her brother’s failure to answer their mother’s calls. Cessie had accidently told the truth that she didn’t know where her _kuya_ was, he and his _best friend_ as she had called Neo over the phone. The call had woken up both Phil and Tomas. Cessie ended it with a sigh.

             “I mean,” Phil began, his arms behind his head, lying in between the two who sat at the foot of the bed. “baka nga sinisibak na nila ‘yung isa’t isa sa _starbs_ _eh_ ,”

             Tomas hit his leg, playfully laughing at such a lewd comment. Cessie snorted. “Could be.” She gave it some thought, “Sabagay, they’re always together at night naman eh. We shouldn’t worry about them.”

             “Sure?”

             “Yeah,” a smile crept on Cessie’s face. “Kuya would do anything to protect kuya Neo.”

They all smiled in agreement.

 

~~~~~

It’s been a particularly stressful day for Salle towards the evening. It didn’t help that Neo was the source of it. Though, it had been much more difficult for him as he struggled to get through the guy. He reminded himself to be patient with him since earlier, when Neo left him hanging, desperately confused. He’d been angry at him, until he was lying down on the floor on the extra bed.

He hadn’t exactly seen whether Neo really was asleep, but he’d been quiet. Contrary to his reserved and quiet presence, Neo actually snored loudly. Salle had been woken up by it a handful of times when they slept together. He had to keep in the hysterics and tried with all restraint to keep himself from posting a snap. Though back at the hotel room, even after thirty minutes of soft sounds of slumber from the other three, Neo’s overpowering melody still hasn’t tuned in. It bothered Salle, even when he was mad at him. He couldn’t sleep knowing that a Neo who had acted out oddly, rudely at that, and earlier to that, had a resident frown on his lips, was unable to sleep soundly. Of course he had to check for himself. Salle had taken out his phone then, from under his pillow. All the while, he silently prayed that Neo’s phone was near him.

He struggled to find the right words to send. He spent some minutes typing, erasing, re-typing, re-erasing. In the end, he settled for something he believed that sounded like him. But then, he quietly rolled his eyes at himself after he’d indecisively pressed send at the words, “Tulog na uy.” He let out a breath and tried to calm himself, laying his phone on his stomach as he closed his eyes.

             _Please reply._

_Please be okay._

_Please be awake._

 Not a minute later, his phone buzzed and all his doubts melted away. “ingay mo kasi.” It read. Salle quietly sighed in relief. His eyes fluttered shut letting it sink in. _He’s not at mad me_. He continued to text the man that was literally pillows apart from him. He couldn’t face him right now. Besides, it was easier to get his attention this way and to hide his frustration that the other did so well.

 

_10:24 PM_

**Blue:** :)

 

             _What now?_

_(10:25 PM)_

             _He’s not okay._

_10:26 PM_

**Green:**    Okay ka lang?

 

He heard a ragged intake of breath. He anticipated Neo’s reply.

 

_10:27 PM_

**Blue:** haha idk

 

Salle cursed to himself.

 

_10:27 PM_

**Green:**    Wanna talk abt it?

 

He replaced his phone above his stomach when Neo didn’t respond after a minute. He waited. Two minutes. _Be patient_. His heart beat faster. Three minutes. _Talk to me Neo, please_. Four minutes.

 

_10:31 PM_

**Green:**    Tulog ka na ba?

 

Relief washed over Salle once more when Neo replied in the same minute about not getting his starbs. _“Ewan ko. Dalhin mo sa starbucks!”_ Phil’s words echoed, lighting a bulb in his head. Right, he said he’d _make libre starbs to Neo_. Salle immediately closed his SMS window and went on google for a quick check on that large Starbucks shop Neo had screamed at earlier in the car. He stopped typing mid-word when he remembered how he scolded Neo. Salle pouted and quickly apologized before going back on the quick search. It was open until one in the morning. He checked the time. 10:33 PM it read. He saw his chance. He took it.

 

They didn’t say much on the way to Salle’s M3. They paced through the corridors, taking their time. Salle still couldn’t look at Neo, he didn’t know what to say either, and quite honestly he was tired of trying to think of something, so instead, he reveled in mutual silence with Neo. Salle was aware of the sudden awkwardness that ensued when they’d held hands earlier, but after indirectly understanding that Neo wasn’t exactly mad at him, he hesitantly tried again inside the elevator as it sped down. Neo side eyed him when Salle’s fingers barely caught his, but he said nothing and trained his eyes back front. Salle waited. And in the slightest manner, Neo stretched his hand, parting his fingers for Salle to lace his own in between the spaces. Salle let out a breath he was unaware that he held. He still didn’t look at the other, but their linked fingers were enough. He gently pulled on Neo, taking the lead to guide them to his car.

Neo accepted Salle’s advance and barely tightened his fingers on the other’s. It was a familiar feeling. It was what he was demanding him of earlier. He felt safe. He felt safe with Salle.

 

_(10:46 PM)_

As they smoothly drove through the near empty road, the silence that resided between them, prolonged. It felt emptier with the absence of the other three’s light laughs. Salle figured that at some point, when he was alone with Neo, there would always be tension. He glanced at him. Neo was wearing a light shirt under the jacket he’d lent him. It was too big for him and even in the situation of things, it made Salle’s heart flutter. He never found himself immune to seeing Neo in his clothing.

Salle briefly remembered the night when it got to Neo’s possession. He simply wrapped it around a drunk and shivering Neo who sat in the same spot he sat in now. It was his favorite jacket, but he just decided to leave it the morning after. He missed it of course, and had every intention of taking it back. But they met a week later and was greeted with the sight of Neo wearing it. He decided then, that the jacket was Neo’s and Neo’s only. He pretended to have forgotten about collecting it back after he’d given Neo a ride back that day. And he will do the same thing when the Sunday that Salle said Neo should give it back comes. Maybe Neo will forget to return it too, maybe he always pretended to forget about it. Maybe. Salle wouldn’t know.

As the memory faded, he noticed Neo was staring outside the window again, but now he carried the same frown from earlier. The only difference this time is that he looked as if he’d been crying.

Salle is used to Neo’s passive and unamused expression, but he absolutely hated it when he was cried. He looked away from Neo, as an unpleasant memory resurfaced. He was reminded of the first time he saw Neo cry because of him. It was because of his stupidity in submitting to [kisses](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/23923797) from random strangers. It had been an emotional night for both of them and he spent the next day indoors, on his bed, barely seeing daylight and ignoring his friends’ invites to hang out. Towards the end of that day, Cessie had had enough of his moping and took him out to see a movie, yet he still ended with his chest heavy.

He guessed that he maybe _was_ a _fuccboi_ after all, _but how could that have been_? Ever since he’s had feelings for Neo he never so much as looked at anyone else, let alone touched them. Except maybe Mappy, but Mappy’s his best friend. Well for Salle, he just sees him as his best friend... even if he's aware of how the guy really feels. But apart from his casual and mere friendly touch with Don, the whole issue with the kissing just happened _one time._ And it happened because Phil fucking wasted him drunk. _One time,_ in the in the two fucking years since Salle had feelings for Neo. It was _because_ of these feelings that he couldn’t bring himself to just agree to “ _Five seconds walang malisya_ ” with anyone, despite how easily it had been in the time before his life was blessed by the saving grace that was Neo.

Though at the end of it all, even after lip locking for the first time in two years, he couldn’t bring himself to kiss Neo. He couldn’t, even when his whole body screamed for it. He couldn’t, even when he it was the only thing he wanted to do. _But why couldn’t he?!_ Oh Neo had flipped him.

But the fault remained, it still happened, even when his thoughts flooded with Neo while he made out with those people. But the person he loved witnessed only what was physical. He hurt him.

Guilt ate him up after that night. And he realized then, why he’s never actually acted on his feelings. It wasn’t his immediate fear of unrequited love, his concern was above that. He believed that he just really wasn’t the best for Neo. But that never became a hindrance for Salle to keep trying to put smile on his face no matter how temporary it is.

And obviously asking Neo if _“he was okay”_ wasn’t going to do that, he’s already tried it… twice that day, in fact. Salle was at a loss once more, frantically racking his brain to think of something, anything. It was too much pressure with the overwhelming silence and the need to converse. It wasn’t in his nature to remain silent and thus, he can only take much of it. Too many things ran inside his head coming to a point of silent frustration. Salle sighed and did what most people did in awkward and pressured silences; he started to sing to the tune of the song played on the car’s radio. He was suddenly very grateful because, one, he didn’t have to think of a tune; two, he recognized the song.

             “ _I’ve been there all night, Ariana,_ ” He sang softly at first. “ _I’ve been there all day,_ ” an octave lower, “ _Nicki Minaj_ ,” and rose his voice to reach his falsetto, “ _and boooy, got me walkin’ side to side_ ,”

This wasn’t the exactly the plan, but it got Neo’s attention, enough for him to swing his head at Salle with a confused look.

             “ _I’m talkin’ to ya,_ ” the bass dropped and he started to bob his shoulders along with his head, “ _See you standing over there with your body_ ”, hitting all the words to Ariana Grande’s [_Side to Side_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXiSVQZLje8). “ _…And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin', 'bout nothin’…_ _—_ ”

              “This is a girl’s song,” Neo quietly muttered, he trained his eyes back in front instead of outside the window at his side.

             _“I'm comin' at ya. 'Cause I know_ I _got a bad reputation.”_ Salle clasped his hand on Neo’s arm and turned him to face the driver’s seat, catching Neo’s attention once more. He continued singing, _“Doesn't matter, 'cause_ I _give_ you _temptation, and we don’t gotta think…”_ and finished with a wink.

Neo rolled his eyes, shaking his head. But there it was, the thing that Salle was trying with his best efforts to make, the corner of Neo’s lip turned up.

           “You’ve got the lyrics wrong,” he said as he turned back to look at the road, something Salle should be concentrated on.

             “ _These friends! Keep talking way too much!…_ ” At this point Salle was already belting out, waking the previously dead silent car. He started tapping the steering wheel to match the clapping in the song, “ _Cause’ I-I-I-I,_ ”

Neo squinted at the racket, though his small smile gradually grew bigger.

            “ _I’ve been there all night!_ WOOH!” Salle was surely enjoying this, he was hoping that Neo was too. “ _And boooooy_ _—_ ” He choked. He laughed. Neo laughed, placing his hand over his mouth. “ _—_ _side to side_!” Salle nearly shouted, continuing the song anyway, amidst the laughing.

             As the second verse progressed and the bass dropped, Salle started dancing in his seat, _“Just as long as you know you got me, you got me,”_ He slid his hand above Neo’s thigh and tapped it while singing, _“and boy I got ya...”_

The rest of the suggestive lyrics were still aimed at Neo and all the while, he tried his best to keep his passive expression that was evidently breaking away. But Salle wasn’t done yet, the only way he could be satisfied with his song number was if Neo started singing with him. The second chorus came and Neo started bobbing his head, to the beat, to the bass drop.

           “ _I’ve been there all night_ —Oh no, this is the rap part— _I’ve been there all day!_ — I don’t know that part!— _And boooooy got me walkin side to side._ ” Salle let out a few laughs, ecstatic from singing and dancing, “But I’ll try— _It’s a new style,_ —”

            “— _with a fresh type of flow_ ,” except it wasn’t Salle who continued the lyrics. He swung his head over to Neo with the biggest smile and the brightest eyes in surprise, in awe. “ _Wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle, come true yo!_ ” Neo took over, his eyes still on the road, he’d lifted himself from slouching and suddenly he was swaying his head, nudging his chin and raising his arm as he flicked his wrist with finger guns along with the beat. “ _If you wanna Minaj I got a tricycle_ —”

             Salle had to remind himself that he was still driving. He trained his eyes back to the road, but he cheered anyway, “NEO MINAJ—” and bit his lip as Neo rapped the parts he didn’t know.

             “ _All these bitches, flows is my mini-me. Body smoking, so they call me young Nicki chimney. Rappers in they feelings 'cause they feelin' me._ ” Neo glanced to Salle. “ _Uh, I-I give zero fucks and I got zero chill in me,_ ”

             Salle blurted out a laugh at the irony of the line, “WOOH!”

             The beat got faster and both Neo and Salle were bobbing to the beat, “ _Kissing me, copped the blue box that say Tiffany. Curry with the shot,_ ” Neo shot an invisible ball, “ _just tell 'em to call me Stephanie. Gun pop and I make my gum pop. I'm the queen of rap, young Ariana run pop_ — _”_

             “ _He’s the queen of rap, young Ariana run pop_!” Salle finished with Neo’s last line and took it from the pre-chorus “— _These friends keep talkin’ way too much_! _Say I should give him up_ _—_ ” Neo stared at Salle with the biggest smile, flustered from his _“lit”_ rap. “ _Cause I-I-I-I_ ”

             Now even Neo sang the chorus with Salle, “ _I’ve been there all night—”_

             “EYYY!” Salle raised his hand to the beat.

             “ _I’ve been there all day—_ ” Neo sang it alone.

             “EYYY!”

             “ _And booooy, got me walkin’ side to side!_ ” they sang together, leaning their heads back to reach the high notes.

The chorus repeated and it finally ended with Neo’s part. The voice of the disc jockey came after the song, talking, but both Salle and Neo were already in hysterics, Neo, more discreetly. When the laughter died out, it was replaced with lightness. The tension in the car suddenly lifted.

Salle looked at the other, whose eyes were back on the road. Radiant smiles settled on their faces, Salle’s spread across his face while Neo’s was kept small, but it was enough for Salle. He hated seeing Neo crying, but all the while loved it when he smiled, despite how temporary it will be.

Salle concentrated back on the road, the smile barely rubbing off. The car was filled with silence once more, but it was calmer this time. Then it was filled with the sound of keys from a piano.

             “ _…I’d like to say we gave it a try…_ ” The voice sang. The radio played another of Ariana Grande’s song, [_Almost is Never Enough_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taPlLuvY0Hw). “ _…maybe we just weren’t right, but that’s a lie, that’s a lie…_ ”

Salle’s eyes found its way back to Neo. He resumed staring outside the window car again, with his elbow rested on the window pane. He looked relax.

_“…Almost is never enough, so close to being in love…”_

Salle turned back to the road.

             _I’m not going to let that happen._

~~~~~

_(11:34 PM)_

They finally arrived at the massive Starbucks shop at Twin Lakes and the moment Salle opened the door, his friend immediately disappeared from his sight. The tall and composed man that Neo was, turned into a child with sparkling eyes ogling at the high ceilings, modern furnishing, glinting items sold in the shop and of course, reveling in the pleasant aroma of coffee. He took a few seconds taking it all in, dazed, like how a kid would when they went to Disneyland.

             “I could get married here,” Neo quietly muttered to Salle as if raising his voice would disrupt the calm, social ambience of the shop.

             “No,” Salle teased, wrapping an arm around Neo’s shoulder who was still taking in the view. Salle stared at him, “You’d marry the shop itself.”

Neo turned back to him, not even a hint of offense taken. He smiled brightly at Salle like that wasn’t the most pathetic idea in the world. “g?”

             “Siraulo.” Salle nudged him, his arm still around him. “Sige na, hanap ka na ng upuan.”

Neo’s eyes disappeared in his smile and from Salle’s side, he took a step to turn and face him. Salle’s arm was still one the other’s shoulder and Neo man wrapped his own arms around his waist. Neo planted his face on his shoulder and hugged him tightly.

Heat had risen on Salle’s cheeks, to everyone’s surprise and his eyes were wide in disbelief. His chest pounded, he was sure even Neo felt it but he wasn’t sure whether or not it was a good thing. He couldn’t even function to tell his body to hug back, but it seemed that Neo didn’t care.

             “Thank you,” Neo whispered into the fabric of Salle’s shirt.

Salle still unable to speak, tightened his arm on the other’s shoulder in the slightest manner. Neo pulled away, he looked up at Salle for less than a second before pulling away. He immediately turned around to find a seat. Neo slid his hands in the pockets of Salle’s jacket. Salle released a flustered sigh as he watched the other walk away. He walked to the counter to order.

 

 

             “This isn’t my usual order…” Neo muttered, slightly disappointed as Salle laid down a tray of two hot beverages and a warm waffle topped with whip cream, drizzled with pink syrup.

Neo found a spot at the massive terrace of the Strabucks shop. He sat beside the wall adjacent to the glass doors and the farthest from the glass barrier. The wall was decorated with an interweaving, foot-to-ceiling, plaid patterned art piece with yellow back lights on it and in front of it was where Neo sat, facing the horizon of the cool night beyond the barrier. He was sitting on a long bench placed in front of a dark wooden table with the same length.

             “I just thought,” Salle paused as he slid in next to Neo. “You needed a hot drink during a really cold night like this.” He ended, giving Neo a soft and genuine smile.

             He caught the other’s tired eyes. The other returned the same soft smile, a silent thank you. Salle replaced the items on the tray to the table, placing Neo’s drink in front of him. Neo spoke again, “I thought that was what you were for.” Neo suddenly joked. Cupping his drink with both hands to warm them up.

             Salle stopped in his tracks and had to laugh, relieved and happy to find Neo up for banter again. “Well,” He sat down and slid the tray to the edge of the table, “I mean,” he took his cup, removed the lid and began to stir. “I guess, I was just made for you…” He said a few seconds after as he stared into his beverage with its lid off. He sat straight realizing what he said. “… I mean like, for any occasion… Weather… Temperature.” His brows furrowed at his non-sense. “Yeah whatever,”

Neo giggled and it echoed in Salle’s ear, unbelievably relieved to hear it again. It’s been such a long day, and despite its fast approaching end in half an hour, his night with Neo had just begun.

Salle took a sip from his cup, as he did, he glanced sideways to Neo who was still just staring at his cup. Salle put his cup down. He rested his left elbow on the table and placed the side of his head atop his palm, his eyes never left Neo, studying him. Silence took over once again, and just as before, Salle couldn’t find the right words to say. But he wasn’t as frantic as he was back in the car, and unfortunately there were no songs to save his ass this time. So he waited. He realized that staring at Neo this way calmed him, what with the ambience of the place, the coffee, the cool night.

Neo’s light brown hair was nearly down, strands of it falling on his face. Salle had the urge to reach out to him and brush them out of his face, but he only gazed at him. Neo’s eyebrows were slightly knitted. The corners of his eyes were turned down, just as his lips were.

             _Anong nasa isip mo, Neo?_ He asked him, in his head.

Neo lifted his head to him. The knit in his brows eased as Neo stared at him. His eyes open, wide open, sparkling.

             “Oh did I say that out loud?” Salle asked, leaning back a little.

Neo softly snickered and swung his head to the silhouette landscape before them. Salle’s eyes never left the only view worth laying his eyes on. Then Neo’s eyes casted down again, his fingers were lightly tapping on his cup that he had yet to drink from. There was uneasiness in Neo’s gesture.

             “Salle,” Neo started, barely above a whisper. Salle said nothing, but only responded with a relieved smile, though Neo failed to see it. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

Salle closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. He smiled and opened his eyes again. Neo still had his eyebrows knitted. Salle scooted near to Neo and slowly reached over, his fingers sliding under the other’s chin. He gently turned Neo’s head to face him. Complete guilt written on his face.

             “Neo,” Salle almost sighed his name. “Honestly,” he brought his finger down. “It’s okay.” It wasn’t, but he’d said sorry. That was enough for Salle.

             “But that wasn’t right—”

             “Yeah, but it’s just the way you are, Neo.” Salle looked him in the eye. “I mean wala eh, ganon ka mag-react when you have a problem.” Neo only nodded, looking away. “Pero…” Salle trailed off, searching for something in Neo’s expression. “Sana kasi sinasabi mo sakin kung bakit.”

Neo bit his lip and turned his head to the other direction completely. Salle lightly sighed, snickering even and he swung one of his legs outside the bench, straddling it and fully facing Neo’s side. He scooted even closer, their legs just a hair away from touching. Salle reached for Neo’s arm and lightly brushed his fingers on it. Neo swung his head back to Salle at the contact.

             “’Di ka na makakaiwas okay so,” Salle cocked his head to the side, “Sabihin mo na lang.” he said gently. Salle brought his fingers back down now that he got his attention. Neo sighed. Salle studied him again. Neo’s eyes were frantic, blinking. His lips were quivering. Evident of the uncertainty in spilling questions over. Salle slowly tried. “… Is… this about Mappy?—”

             “No!” Neo’s eyes shot wide as if he’d been caught.

Salle raised an eyebrow at him. The pressure of Salle’s eyes affected Neo. They stared at each other for a few intense seconds, before Neo quickly turned away to press his face to both his palms. He rested his elbows on the table. Neo sighed deeply. Salle brought one of his elbows back on the table and rested the side of his head on his knuckles.

             “okay so ayaw mo pag-usapan,” Salle’s eyes casted down to the untouched waffle, the cream already melting. His mind went back to earlier when the bottle’s rim landed on Neo. He wasn’t a virgin anymore and it was a guy. It bothered Salle. Of course he accepts Neo and thinks no less of him, yet, something felt off. He probably shouldn’t ask at all, but… Why didn’t Neo tell him about it? “Can I ask something?” Salle asked.

             “About what?”

             “Kanina.” Neo didn’t answer, but he did tense up. This made Salle lift his eyes back to him. “I just…” He trailed off again. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Salle heard Neo take a ragged breath.

             “About what?” his voice cracked, and his face was still hidden in his palms.

             “Na hindi ka na…—”

             “It’s not like I have to tell you everything!” Neo raised his voice at him and started to sniff, his shoulders shaking.

             Salle was caught surprised by Neo’s reaction and he looked away again with knitted eyebrows. “Okay…” Neo’s breath was getting even unstable. “Look I mean, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I just wanted to kn—”

That was when Neo took a hard breath and turned his whole body away from Salle, starting to wipe away his unexpected tears that were quickly falling down. Salle lifted his eyes back at the other man and saw his shuddering back and bowed head. Instant panic came over him and on instinct, Salle had his arms on Neo’s arms.

             “Shit, I’m sorry!” Salle started to frantically rub on his arm, panic in his eyes. Salle started apologizing over and over. “Hindi dapat ako nag-tanong, shit. Neo—”

             _Not again. Not again. No. I fucked up._

             _What’s wrong? What did I do?_

             _I’m sorry. No not again._

             Neo was tightly closing in on himself as sobs escaped his mouth that he attempted to hold in. Salle in all his confusion, still wrapped his arms tightly around Neo’s stomach and pulled him close. Salle buried his face on Neo’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Neo! Please stop crying. Please, please, please...” He squeezed his eyes shut, begging. “I fucked up… I’m sor—”

             “No! No. No, no, no.” Neo turned back to sit correctly, facing the table still wiping his tears. Neo brought his hand to hold on to Salle’s arm which was still tightly wrapped around his stomach. Neo turned to look at the top of his hair. “It’s not your fault, Salle, it’s not.” He rubbed the other’s arm.

             Salle lifted his head to him. “What?” He was so confused. “I don’t get… then why are you crying?” his own voice nearly cracking, desperate for an answer.

             “I just—” Neo’s voice broke and he looked away again, squeezing his eyes shut.

             “Neo, what is it?” Salle asked again frustrated. “Tangina please kausapin mo k—”

             “Basta! Wag na!” Neo shook his head, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to stop the tears from falling by covering his face with both palms.

             “Neo ano ba! Hindi na kita maintindihan,” Salle held his grip on Neo’s arm resisting him from pulling away. “Bakit ka ba umiiyak?” He reached out to brush off Neo’s hair getting caught on his tearstained face.

Neo jerked back as Salle tried to reach him, nearly slapping his hand away. A heavy sob escaped him, shaking his chest.

If Salle’s heart sank farther than it had ever been. _Again?_ His eyes, his mouth, it all fell from his face with hurt. Rejected once more. Salle let his arms fall from their grip. _Ang hirap, Neo_. He thought to himself as he stared at Neo falling apart before him with a reason unknown to him, but a reason he blamed himself for.

             Neo placed a palm at the center of Salle’s chest.

             “I j-just,” Neo got out in between his sobs.

Neo pulled his hand back to his face and tried to hold in more sobs. With one heavy and ragged intake of breath,

             “I am ashamed!” finally said the words that had been finding its way out. Neo took in a ragged breath. His chest was tight. He turned his whole body back to face the table. His frame had become tensed and he planted his elbows on the table and his hands in fists, sandwiching his each side of his head. Neo dared not to look at Salle.

             “Neo,” Salle sighed, still completely lost. “I told you, you don’t have to be ashamed because you did it—”

             “I didn’t do it!” He quietly said through his teeth. Tears started falling across Neo’s cheeks again.

            “What?” Salle’s eyes had nearly turned into a glare at his exhausted frustration. Salle was outright concerned, frustrated and very confused. “What do you mean you didn’t—”

            Neo started to sob, though forcing himself to be quiet. “I didn’t do it, I-I—” a sob escaped. “I didn’t want it.”

            Salle still had the same glare, he was even more confused than before. “didn’t want…?” Salle mouthed to himself. He took a second. Two seconds. Three.

And then it hit him.

His eyebrows shot up on his forehead and his eyes grew wide. Images went flying into Salle’s head. His chest tightened as his heart sank. Salle’s hands that went white and cold formed into fists above his thighs. His own breathing growing heavy and his stomach, fighting to hold in bile.

             “What happened?!” He nearly shouted. He didn’t care anymore, he had to know. His breathing, progressively got as heavy as Neo’s.

             Neo took a few seconds to calm himself. He couldn’t look at Salle. “Salle, I’m sorry.” He squeaked.

             “No Neo, please.” He unclasped his hand from the fists and reached to take both Neo’s pressed on either side of his face. He covered his palm over the other’s knuckles. Neo let him. Salle didn’t pull off the other’s fists, scared he would reject him again and push him away. So once again, he waited for Neo. When he didn’t resist, Salle, as gently as possible, pulled both fists off, bringing them down to the bench. “Please just tell me.” He begged him.

With one last sniff, Neo pulled his wrist from Salle’s hold and wiped his face with the back of his hand. He brought it back down and Salle held it protectively. Neo’s head was still bowed, still avoiding the other’s eyes. Salle laid he eyes on the tears that caught in Neo’s lashes.

             Neo sighed. “It… It happened at home—” His voice already broke.

Salle brushed his thumb across Neo’s wrist. He understood now why he never told him. And yet he’d been insensitive. He pressed him. Even if he saw how hard it was for him to explain all this. He pressed him. He fucked up again. _Again_. Salle fought back his own tears creeping up and willed himself to listen. He was mad at himself. He was mad at the type of vermin who did this to his whole world. This was difficult for both of them.

             “Nasa work si mommy and si daddy.” His eyes squeezed shut again, flinching. He began to pull away. Salle eased on his grip, but Neo didn’t pull away. He held him again. “Yaya was supposed to be there—” tears began falling from his shut eyes. “—pero hindi.” He sobbed. “She went out for a while—” He sniffed. “I was playing Crash!” His breath caught. “On the PS1!” He nearly yelled at Salle, at the memory. Salle held him tighter, his own eyes squeezing shut.

             “And then he came through the front door.” Neo started sobbing again. His voice pitched higher. “And then he told me—” a loud sob escaped. “— that we should play a different game!” His words caught in between sobs and pulled his wrists from Salle’s hold to cover his face once again. His phrases started to become incoherent, fragmented. “He took the c-controller—”

Salle pulled Neo to him into a hug as he sobbed. He bumped his forehead on the other’s shaking shoulder, to calm himself. To try and keep it together as his world shattered before him.

             “And pulled me to—” break. “—my p-parents’ bedroom—”

He held on to it, his whole world, to keep him from falling apart.

             “And then—” Break. It all fell apart. “—there was only pain—” Neo let out a heavy sob that shook his chest.

But he couldn’t. There was nothing he could have done.

Neo was unable to further compose himself. Salle didn’t press him. _There was too much pain_. Salle pulled him tighter and buried his face into the other’s shoulder. Neo withered into Salle’s hold, turning to him and letting his face covered with his hands fall on the other’s chest. Salle held him tight. It was the only thing he could do. He absorbed Neo’s pain.

Salle pulled him closer, the fabric of their shirts pinned in between their flesh. He carded through Neo’s hair as gently as possible careful not to break whatever was left. That piece of shit who touched his world that way. And he’d felt envious earlier that day of the _“man”_ who’d brought Neo all the pleasure. Salle wanted to kick himself. But he would rather kick the dirt who did this to Neo.

             “Where is he now?” He asked desperate, blood boiling underneath his controlled voice as Neo calmed.

Neo half laughed amidst his sobs and lifted his head to Salle. He finally looked him in the eye, the joke in it.

             “He still attends family reunions.” His fake smile broke as easily as it came. His face contorted once more, tears leaking. He replaced his head on Salle’s chest.

The other froze. His grip tightened on Neo, hoping to absorb all the pain in him the more he pressed him to his chest. Salle’s face contorted, his eyebrows fell into a glare. He buried his cheek atop the other’s hair.

All Salle wanted to do was protect him, but he couldn’t.

 

Neo held on to him. He felt safe.

_Salle was the only person he couldn’t hide things from. And he lets him. He lets him in._

****

~~~~~

They remained holding each other. They said nothing, only letting the time pass through silence, as it always did when they were together. At some point, Salle reminded Neo to drink something. He wanted to get up and get him water, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave him for less than a second. Salle gently urged Neo to drink his now cold beverage, drinking it for the first time. It took a second to register that their waffle was untouched and honestly, either of them couldn’t stomach the idea of eating. Salle decided to just take it out for the others to eat.

After that irrelevant mundane dilemma, Salle’s arm found its way back, wrapping around Neo’s shoulder who now stared ahead, beyond the barrier, beyond the silhouetted landscape. He had calmed down, the sobbing stopped, but it didn’t quite feel as if Neo was already back. Salle held him anyway, he was going to hold him until he returned. It took an hour, two hours later, maybe even three. Salle didn’t know. He didn’t care either. They left only when the baristas at Starbucks kindly asked them to leave.

It dawned on them that they were still in Starbucks. After the take out bag returned, Salle was the first to get up. He went over to Neo’s side and helped him up, lifting the weight of the world with him. Salle re-arranged his jacket on Neo, snuggly wrapping it on him believing it would shield him from all possible harm. They gathered their belongings and slowly headed to the car. Salle held Neo’s hand as they lingered on every step they took. It was safe to look at each other but they didn’t.

 

             **SUNDAY MORNING:**

_(1:39 AM)_

As they drove back to the hotel, the silence remained apart from song playing from the radio. Up Dharma Down’s [_Indak_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgG4sTOU77A)accompanied them. At a red light, the car momentarily stopped. Salle turned his head to Neo to check up on him. His eyes were beyond the road again. His eyes were swollen, his cheeks were tear-stained, his lips still fell into a frown. It pained him to see Neo like that. Salle absentmindedly reached out to run his palm across the other’s cheek. Neo turned to him at the contact as if he was brought back from somewhere far. His eyes were tired. Despite that, Neo smiled, genuinely. He leaned into Salle’s touch. The other’s fingers found Neo’s hair and carded through it soothingly.

             “Go na.” Neo whispered, breaking the prolonged silence.

Salle weakly snickered. He retreated his hand from the other’s hair and brought it back on the gear to put the car in motion.

             “That’s the second time today.” Neo softly teased. Despite the state of his face evident of its after-cry, Neo seemed to be more relaxed now than on their way to Starbucks.

             “It’s already Sunday,” Salle answered back lightly. He glanced at Neo again. His head was leaned on the window, but he had a weak smile on his lips. Salle turned back to the road before saying, “What can I say, you’re very distracting.”

             “I just balled my eyes out earlier.”

             “Yeah and it makes me more aware of you.”

             Neo snickered softly. “Ang panget ko na kaya.” he complained.

             “Matagal na?” The tension from earlier events suddenly lifted. It put a tired, but geuine smile on Salle’s face. Neo weakly hit his arm, his smile slowly reaching his eyes. “Joke lang,” Salle took back. “Kahit panget ka o hindi,” He smoothly drove over a curve. His concentration put into his driving more than the words he was saying. “Maha- ahh.” Thankfully he caught himself. He glanced at Neo again to see if the other noticed. “Lab parin kita.” Salle quickly finished.

Neo’s tired smile grew wider. After a few more seconds of silence, Neo surprisingly reached over when Salle rested his right hand on the gearshift. Neo pulled on the other’s hand, he laced their fingers together and placed it above his lap. It caught Salle’s attention, his eyes wide at Neo. The man who took his hand stared ahead, avoiding eye contact. Even in the dim lighting, Salle could see the heat in Neo’s cheeks. He felt it on his cheeks too. It became a home base for Salle every time he had to pull away to shift gear. He was suddenly very ungrateful he drove manual.

 

The engine’s car died and finally there was complete silence again. With both hands on the steering wheel, Salle took a few seconds staring in front before letting out a breath. He turned to Neo. The other was already looking at him. Neo’s cheek was resting on the edge of his seat closest to the driver. Salle leaned back, he twisted in his seat to mirror Neo’s position. They gazed into each other’s eyes. Salle reached across for Neo’s fingers. Too many seconds passed without them moving or saying anything. The only movement came from their fingers linked beneath their stares. They were squeezing and easing on each other’s fingers.

             _I will never let anyone hurt you again._

             _Even if it’s me_.

_I’ll always protect you._

_Even if it’s from me._

 

And with that promise, Salle leaned in. He closed his eyes. He pressed his lips on Neo’s.

As Salle pulled away, he tightened his grip on Neo’s fingers. Neo let go.

 

Salle opened his eyes a little confused. His eyes focused and saw Neo’s expression. All the lightness had disappeared. The air was suddenly cold. Salle’s eyebrows knitted closer.

             “Neo?”

Neo pulled back completely, turning his head to the front. His breathing was heavy once more. Neo squeezed his eyes shut and his palms found his face again.

_No. No, no—_

_I FUCKED UP._

Salle reached out for him to apologize, but Neo avoided his touch by opening the door.

             “Teka lang! Neo!” Neo shut the door and began to walk away. Salle hit the seat cover. “PUTANGINA!” Salle immediately got out of the car to chase him. He ran. He crossed their distance, Neo nearly reached the elevator. Salle stopped him by wrapping his arms around Neo.

Neo’s whole body tensed up and his eyes opened wide.

             “Wait lang, please, Neo!”

Salle’s strong arms wrapped around Neo’s chest from behind, tightly. It meant to restrain his movement. Neo began to panic. With the weight of tonight’s events and his wounds freshly re-opened, he was reminded of the time he was forced to resist. He was being forced to stop moving—

             “DON’T TOUCH ME!” He screamed at Salle and pushed him off. Neo stepped back, pulling his arms in, his eyes wide at Salle.

Salle’s heart sank. _How many times today?!_ His breathing went heavy, but he didn’t dare to step closer.

             “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Neo I—” He begged, his arms in front of him in surrender, in honesty.

             Neo advanced on him. “I trusted you!” He screamed at Salle furiously. Neo stood directly in front of him. “Sabi mo hindi mo kaya!” Salle gasped, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head in regret. “Ngayon pa, Salle?!” Neo’s voice broke. “After everything I just told you kanina!” Neo was screaming at him. “Ngayon pa talaga!?” his voice was hoarse. “Ha?! I trusted you Salle, putangina—” Salle gripped both of Neo’s arms tightly and pulled him.

             “I DIDN’T MEAN IT!!”

Neo’s heart broke.

One second. Two seconds. They searched answers in each other’s eyes.

             “What?!” He desperately asked Salle, his shoulders falling.

             “What?!” Salle asked for Neo’s question. “No! I mean— I mean—”

Neo shoved Salle off. He shook his head as he glared at him with hurt in his eyes. He ran.

 

Salle couldn’t move. He didn’t understand. Everything was fine! What happened!? He happened! _He fucked up! Again! And Again! And Again!_

Salle sank to the parking lot’s floor, crouching. He dropped his face into his palms. Tears began falling across his cheeks. Salle let out a frustrated yell. It took him some time to calm down.

He stood up and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

He walked back into the hotel.

 

 

_2:17 AM_

**Salle:** Cess nandyn na ba si Neo?

 **Salle:** Phil nandiyan n ba si Neo?

 **Salle:** Tom ndiyan na b si Neo?

 

_2:19 AM_

**Cess:** He’s here. Kuya, what

                                     happened?

 

_2:21 AM_

**Phil:**        Putangina pare anong

                                     nangyari?

 **Salle:** Nagsratbucks kami

                       **Phil:**        Sabi ko kausapin mo hindi

                                     paiyakin mo puta

 **Salle:**       Pytanhina phil..

 

_2:22 AM_

**Phil:**        Nasan ka ba?!

 **Cess:** Kuya where are you?

 

Salle downed his second bottle of alcohol after he’d opened Cess’ message. He didn’t know where he was, but he was sure he was still in the perimeter of the hotel.

When he got there, the bartender was already cleaning up and told him the bar was closed. Salle kindly, even in his state of frustration, asked if he could just have 2-3 bottles or shots of whatever was the hardest drink he had available. The bartender had still said no and that’s when Salle put out his wallet.

He eventually drank himself to forget the unbearable weight that built up with today’s events. He didn’t even know what he was drinking, but it had already done its job. The bartender, being the only living soul around, was not spared the re-telling of events and Salle’s feelings that he didn’t really understand. He took pity for the Salle though, he seemed to have had such a rough time. After a while, the bartender got tired of Salle’s outpour of emotion and he just decided to turn on the speaker and play a song in substitute of his presence. The bartender chose a song that he believed best suited this frustrated man’s situation. Well at least, what he understood of it. The opening beats to Jessie Ware’s _[Say You Love Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAMM8JVbr8g) _ came in.

When the clock hit the 3:00 AM, Salle had abandoned conversation with the bartender and resorted to will away his drunkenness by singing to the sad song. It was at this point that the bartender asked if Salle knew where his hotel room was. Salle slurred a yes and the bartender asked if he had a keycard.

Salle drunkenly put up a finger and said he’ll call someone. He pulled his phone out and unlocked the screen.

 

_3:16 AM_

**Green:** Neoo please stop crgying

 **Green:** Plsze talkd yo me

 

_3:20 AM_

**Green:** I ducked up

 **Salle:** Im sorry neoo

 

_3:22 AM_

**Salle:** I”m sorry Neo

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> Things will get better, I promise.
> 
> (Also I've been listening to the last song for like what 3 weeks now and I've been trying to find the perfect placement for the song to come on. Though I didn't break down its lyrics, I hope you all pay attention to it bec it basically sums up their relationship lol thank you @Gwyndolyn for introducing me to this song.)


	4. SUNDAY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The timer is nearly coming to a stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a long time coming, and I'm sorry for the two week delay, but hey! It's here!!
> 
> It's a long chapter but it's more of a filler, like Chapter 2. It builds up to the last chapter (hopefully).  
> I originally planned to post this yesterday (Sunday), because of the chapter title, pero hindi umabot AHAHA!
> 
> (Also! Napanood niyo na ba yung _I’m Drunk, I Love You?_ Fave part ko don yung breakfast iyakan ni Jason Ty at ni Carson so the breakfast scene here is mildly inspired by that one)
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

 

 

 

 

             **SUNDAY MORNING:**

_(4:41 AM)_

The door knob hit the wall louder than Salle expected and he jumped at the sound. He realized he was the one who made it and suddenly shifted to closing the door carefully, pushing its frame slowly. Once the door softly clicked, Salle leaned his full weight on it, groaning as quietly as he could. All the physical movement since he started walking to the room caused him a pounding headache that toyed with the rest of his body’s balance. Salle dragged himself across the dark room. He tried to soberly make his way to his bed, careful not to wake the others up, especially Neo, if he was even actually asleep. But you can’t trust a drunk man to get anywhere gracefully, hence, a few mugs and glasses got knocked over on the welcoming table. It would have been more if it wasn’t for Phil who jumped awake from his sleep and immediately jolted from Tomas’ side to Salle’s.

 

          “Sana man lang pinasama mo ‘ko sayo,” Phil whispered at Salle with suppressed irritation either from waking up this early or at Salle and all the trouble he caused. Phil hoisted his arm around his shoulder.

This would have been easier if Salle had just let him accompany him since they got back from Starbucks. He wouldn’t have gotten this drunk. The only reply Phil received was a groan. Phil rolled his eyes as he dragged half of the dead’s weight across the room. He slid Salle off him and he flopped down the mattress on the floor. Cessie on the neighboring bed, stirred at the racket.

          “’Wag ka maingay,” Phil scolded Salle. He stared down at Salle who was merely a blurred figure without his glasses.

He couldn’t blame him. Neo came in sobbing earlier and immediately headed for the bathroom, locking himself in. Neo avoided all possible contact with the three of them who tried to comfort him. Phil insisted for them to just sleep and give the two their space. Cessie had been reluctant, but complied anyway. It seemed that Neo took two hours inside, before he had to unlock the door to let Phil answer to the call of nature.

When Phil sat on the toilet and blinked himself awake, he noticed a green and white jacket crumpled at the far corner of the bathroom. It was Salle’s jacket, or was it Neo’s. He didn’t really know, but he knew whatever happened to them was pretty serious. After he flushed, he stood up and stepped over to where the jacket was. He picked it up. Phil sighed and outside the bathroom. Neo was already in bed, Salle still hasn’t arrived. Phil draped the jacket over Neo’s bag inside the closet. He sighed again before scooting back into bed to spoon Tomas for comfort.

Now his friend finally arrived at four in the fucking morning. He was drunk, and only god knew who would be driving when the sun came up. Phil tucked him in anyway, and began to step away when Salle grabbed his wrist.

          “Neo,” Salle slurred hastily with his eyes closed and his eyebrows knitted. Salle attempted to push his head off the pillow.

          “Pare si Phil—” Phil tried to correct him.

          “Nasan si Neo?” Salle continued, adding pressure on Phil’s wrists.

Phil turned his head up from crouching, at Neo who slept, curled beside Cessie.

          “Nandito na, pare,” Phil answered in a soft voice attempting to comfort Salle.

          But Salle wasn’t done yet. “Tulog na ba siya?” he slurred, cheeks pressing on the pillows that bunched his lips.

Phil’s eyes softened. Even Salle was dead drunk, he only concerned himself with Neo’s well-being.

          “Tulog na siya,” he answered. Salle’s grip eased and so did his eyebrows. His arm dropped outside his mattress, hitting the rugged floor.

          “Tulog ka na rin.” Phil softly cooed. Salle unconsciously nodded and blindly pulled the blanket over his head. Phil readjusted Salle’s blanket, covering both his upper and lower half.

After taking care for his drunkassed friend, he sighed and gave up on catching sleep when he rested his head on Tomas’ chest once he lied back down on their bed. The other unconsciously wrapped his arm around Phil. It was going to be a long day. Not for them, but for both Salle and Neo.

 

~~~~~

_(9:13 AM)_

          “Neo!—”

Salle jumped in his sleep, sitting up from his bed, ruffling the covers and pillows. His breathing was heavy while his eyes began to focus. He was aware that he was in his hotel room and his face fell on his palms. He propped his elbows on his bent knees with a sigh. It finally registered that the hotel room was empty, but it didn’t match the emptiness that weighed in his chest. He groaned at the pounding in his head.

Salle woke up five hours later since he came in and it wasn’t enough time for him to recover his hang over. He had to skip the breakfast buffet, but it food didn’t really matter to him right now. He hesitantly stood up from the bed. The more he moved, the more the world spun.

          “Tangina pano ako magdadrive.” He murmured to himself as he shook his head.

He lifted his head to scan the room and spotted a full tray of platters on the welcoming table. He guessed that Cessie must have ordered room service for him. A small smile appeared on his lips, thankful for his sister.

 

 

Cessie eyed Neo in front of her whose eyes were casted down on his buffet plate that didn’t contain anything more than two sad slices of toast. It heavily resembled a sad breakfast plate if that was a thing. Neo’s eyelids were swollen, his cheeks were still red and the fact that he didn’t get enough sleep was evident on his face.

The table was quiet, a great contrast to the loud buffet hall full of bright smiles enjoying breakfast on a sunny and beautiful morning. Even Tomas’ ever present giddiness seemed to be somewhere far off. Phil was half nodding off in front of his plate; he wasn’t taking the early wake-up call well. Tomas had to nudge him for his table manners and Phil’s elbow slipped, blinking wide awake. All eyes were on Neo now who avoided all of it, his eyebrows knitted with a subtle amount of tension.

Cessie’s mind traced back to everything that happened since last night at the start of the fellowship. As she stared at Neo with concern she tried to piece together of what she witnessed that could have caused all of this.

Cessie suddenly put down her utensils making a loud clanking noise, disrupting the prolonged silence since they woke up at the hotel room. Everyone jumped and looked up at her curiously. Even Neo was startled enough to barely quirk an eyebrow at her, the corner of his eyes still drooped down.

          “I’m sorry!” Cessie exclaimed, wailing. She dropped her face on her palms propped by her elbow on top of the table, her bright blue to green ombre hair, ruffling and spilling over her face.

Neo’s earlier subtle expression contorted more. He side eyed Phil and Tomas for answers. The two shrugged. Neo’s face fell blank and his eyes moved back to the wailing Cessie.

          Neo tried to coax her, “Cess—”

          “It’s because I asked about Mappy isn’t it!?” She said lifting her face only to raise her voice. “Isn’t it!?!”

Neo’s eyes softly widened, too tired to think about that. Everything was much more complicated than that.

          “Cess,” He tried to keep his voice as even as possible, but he wasn’t convincing enough to provide comfort. “Hey, look,” he tried more gently. He leaned across the table, reaching his fingers over to brush Cessie’s arm. She looked up, tears in her eyes threatening to spill.

          “It’s not that silly,” He reassured her, even turning one corner of his lip up.

          “So is it because of kuya talaga?” Cessie pouted, sniffing.

Neo sighed, his eyes falling aimlessly at their table. They waited for him to say something. Tomas and Phil leaned in. Neo raised his head again and looked at Cessie in the eye.

          “Yes.” It was barely audible. “Kasi he’s stupid.” His eyes fell again.

Cessie’s pout deepened and she turned her head to Phil and Tomas. The three glanced at each other as if trying to mentally converse on who was to say something next. It was none of them because Neo spoke again, catching their attention.

          “Tell your kuya ang tanga niya ha.”

The three looked all the more concerned. Neo snickered weakly and got up from the couch. The three left at the table followed Neo with their eyes. They saw him stop a few feet away at the coffee machine. They instantly turned their heads back at the table, leaning into each other.

          “Anong gagawin natin?” It was Cessie who asked first, all her hurt and wailing lifted from her now very determined expression.

          “Ano ba kasi nangyari?” Tomas asked, pouting. Cessie turned to Phil. Tomas followed her line of sight. There was a paused.

          “Bakit ako?” Phil asked, eyes bouncing from one to the other.

          “You took care of Kuya.”

          “Ikaw rin nagpalabas kay Neo sa CR.”

Phil sighed as he bowed his, momentarily squeezing his eyes shut. Tomas and Cessie anticipated his response, gripping their utensils harder. Phil snapped his head up.

          “Okay so ito lang alam ko,” He began, his fingers spreading in front of him. “Pag-pasok ko sa banyo, mukhang tinapon lang ni Neo yung jacket niya…” He trailed off, “Or yung jacket ni Salle…?” He shook his head. “Ewan. Basta tinapon lang, sa tabi ng basurahan.”

          “Buti na lang hindi magaling sa basketball si Neo.” Tomas commented which elicited a click of a tongue from Cessie for interrupting Phil.

          “’Yun lang, from Neo.” Phil paused again. “And si Salle, tangina. Naglasing.” Tomas and Cessie let out a simultaneous groan, facepalming themselves.

          “Pagdating niya sa room, nagtanong lang siya kung nandiyan na daw ba si Neo at kung tulog na siya.”

Tomas and Cessie stared at Phil still waiting. Phil waved a hand when he didn’t know what else to say.

          “Tapos?” Cessie urged.

          “Tapos… Ayun lang…”

Cessie and Tomas leaned back.

          “You didn’t even ask what happened?”

          “Lasing na nga siya, di mo pa tinanong.”

          “Alas kwatro ng umaga?!” Phil lightly raised his voice at them. “Ang concern ko lang ng alas kwatro ng umaga ay matulog! Edi sana kayo nagising para tanongin siya.” Phil knitted his eyebrows, going back to his plate. Tomas cocked his head to the side, smiling, before brushing his fingers over the back of Phil’s hand to ease his tension.

          “So what are we going to do?” Cessie asked again after sighing. There were a few seconds of silence, all three of them just running their heads. They thanked Neo for taking long at the coffee machine.

          Tomas suddenly straightened up. His whole face lit up. “Alam ko na!” He said brightly, lifting his index finger up. The two nodded for him to continue.

          “Punta tayong _Sky Ranch_.”

          “Babe, tinatry natin silang makipag-ayos hindi para makapagdate tayong dalawa.” Phil protested. He completely missed the point.

          Tomas snickered. “Hindi,” he laid a palm down on the table. “Pupunta tayo doon, tapos sa Ferris Wheel, gagawan natin ng paraan na silang dalawa lang sasakay!”

          “You think that will work?” Cessie asked hesitantly.

          “It’s worth the try?”

          “Pano kung ayaw nila pumunta?” Phil asked. Tomas pouted. He didn’t think of that.

A second more of silent thoughts. Then a smirk spread on Cessie’s face, smiling at the other two smugly.

          “They won’t have a choice.” Cessie concluded.

          “Why not?” Phil asked again.

          “They won’t be driving today.”

Realization hit Phil and Tomas, their faces lighting up brightly. Cessie winked at them. They all giggled at their plan of action: Fix the NeoSalle. Just then, Neo arrived back at their table and the three suddenly pulled away from each other, quietly training their eyes down at their food. Neo put down his small mug of coffee and weakly smiled at them. He admired how his friends tried so hard.

 

~~~~~

After the plan had been set and they finished breakfast, they went back up the hotel room. They found it empty as Salle occupied the bathroom. His tray had been touched and Cessie was relieved that it was. Neo couldn’t admit it that time, but he was thankful as well. He realized what Salle had been doing last night, after their falling out. What with the many typos in the series of texts he continuously received.

As soon as Salle got out, Neo slid in. Not before the two shared a millisecond stare. Neo passed him. The other planted where he stood. When the door clicked behind him, Salle sighed, shoulders falling. There was nothing the three could do, but watch them avoid each other. And avoid each other they did. As soon as Salle settled, he began packing up his things. He asked for Phil’s help to carry their bags down to the car. Everyone was all ready to leave except for Neo who couldn’t get up early this morning to shower before breakfast. Salle insisted on just waiting for the rest at the lobby. The others couldn’t do anything but agree.

At the lobby, Salle and Phil silently waited. The former looked ridiculous wearing sunglasses that hid his emerald eyes, inside a brightly lit lobby. He slouched into the cushion in his lightly fitting, gray, sleeveless tank top. Phil eyed him anyway, weighing in whether now would be a good time to interrogate or not. Before he could even ask, the other three appeared through the hallway behind Salle. Phil’s head lifted and immediately his attention was caught by Neo who was also wearing sun glasses. Now, two of them looked unbelievably stupid. Phil rolled his eyes sighing. Salle noticed this and swung his head back. Salle stood up when the three stopped in front of them. He watched Neo as he momentarily dropped his bag on the tiled floor.

          “Have you checked out yet, kuya?” Cessie asked.

          “Yeah.” Salle barely mumbled, not even bothering to look at who asked. He kept his eyes on Neo through his sunglasses. He couldn’t see Neo’s eyes through the other’s own pair.

Tomas had to suppress a laugh looking between the two who looked like they were about to recreate a fight scene in _The Matrix_.

          “Tara na,” Tomas said innocently, breaking the tension between the two.

Both Neo and Salle crouched down for the duffel bag. Both stopped and lifted their heads to each other. Neo held the strap.

          “Ako na,” Salle said, before he gripped the strap as well, avoiding contact with Neo’s skin.

          “I can do it.” Neo said stubbornly.

The bag was suddenly lifted between them causing them to unclasp their hold on it.

          “Halika na, ano!” Phil interrupted between them. “Ako na lang! hehe!” Phil teased them both and started to step away towards the entrance, carrying Neo’s bag. “Baka kasi mga alas kwatro pa tayo umalis dito eh! Hehehe!” He sarcastically said.

Both pair of eyes followed Phil’s back. Salle didn’t turn back to look at Neo and followed Phil. Neo’s eyebrows knitted before he started walking.

 

Salle opened the door to the passenger seat at the front and saw Cessie occupied it. She looked up at him curiously.

          “You’re driving,” Salle dictated and pushed the car keys to her palm. Cessie smiled brightly and hopped out of the passenger seat. He replaced her and immediately closed the door. He dropped his head to the window, sinking into his seat and closing his eyes.

Neo sat at the left side in the back seat, doing the same. Obviously they were trying to stay apart as far from each other as possible. It left Tomas in the middle and Phil on the right side. Tomas leaned into Phil again. The day just started and already both Salle and Neo were tired of it.

 

~~~~~

_(10:44 AM)_

Their plan to get just the two in one car failed. But if it was any consolation, they still got to the _Sky Ranch_. The place was packed with people, yet the group of five remained scattered. Well more accurately, it was Neo and Salle who individually distanced themselves from their three other friends.

Phil, Tomas and Cessie stood defeated, unmoving, in the middle of the passing crowd. From their point of view, they could see Neo who was on his phone and sat at one of the benches, in front of one of the rides, ignoring the world. Neo faced the entrance of the small theme park. In a farther distance was Salle who had his back to the rest of the world. He was standing by the shed meant as a waiting area for those going on the zip-line, facing the view of the lake and hills. He had his weight on his elbows which was propped on the railing.

They were both exerting more effort in trying to stay apart than make-up. And it’s begun to have the three simply accept defeat. They glanced at each other again.

          “What now?” Cessie asked weakly. Her positivity was wavering.

          Phil puffed out his chest and pushed his glasses up with his index finger. “Kailangan na ng,” he looked down at the two, “intervention.”

The other two nodded and they dispersed, making their way to their friends in need. Phil made his way towards Salle alone, while Tomas and Cessie sat on either side of Neo.

The taller man wearing glasses, casually stood next to Salle, mimicking the way he leaned on the railing. Phil admired the view, waiting. Salle was quiet. Phil was quiet. But the latter swung his head to the side to look down at Salle. He waited again.

Salle finally sighed. He ran his hand through his hair, ending with a scratch at the back of his neck and acknowledged Phil.

          “So…” Phil began. He was gentle, careful not to pressure his friend. “Ano bang nangyari?”

The other stared ahead again through his tinted sunglasses. His lips turned into a frown, remembering clearly what happened last night. He recalled how he kissed Neo. He recalled how the other pulled away. How the other shouted at him. Salle felt that he deserved it.

          “Nagkamali ako pare.” Salle admitted. His voice was weak.

          “No shit, pare.” Phil snickered. It had the other turn up his lip. “Ano nga?”

          Salle let out a deep sigh. He held the railing with locked arms on either side of him and lowered his head, shaking it. “Hinalikan ko siya.” He let out, full of regret.

          Phil quirked an eyebrow, not expecting that kind of respsonse. “Tapos?”

          Salle swung his head at Phil, confused. He nudged his chin forward. “Hinalikan ko siya.” He repeated, but this time making a point to sound like Phil’s missing what was obvious.

          “Oo nga, narinig kita.” Phil brushed it off, “Tapos, ano nga?” He still didn’t get it.

          “Anong tapos ano?” Salle’s voice slightly rose.

They both looked at each other equally confused, completely missing each other’s point. Phil spread his fingers, urging Salle to continue.

          “ _Tapos_ ,” He continued when Phil didn’t say anything else. “…First kiss namin…”

          “HA?!” Phil’s head jerked to Salle’s direction, bouncing his glasses on his nose. His eyes shot wide open, larger than his lenses. “First kiss???” he nearly shouted.

Salle couldn’t understand why this was so surprising. He nodded at Phil with knitted eye brows. Phil let it sink in. He reached up to the top of his head to scratch it. He thought about it. He glanced down at the tiles, then to the railings at the side. Then he snapped his head up, along with his index finger raised.

          “So…” Phil trailed off though. His face contorted with uncertainty, “So hindi kayo naghahalikan tuwing nagsesex kayo?”

          “NAGSESEX!?!?” Now it was Salle who was shocked. “Phil putangina!?!?” His eyes shot wider behind his sunglasses, “Anong nagsesex!? Hindi kami nag sesex!”

The passersby consisting mostly of parents, were already shooting them unpleasant looks with their loud racket as they threw vulgar words around in the presence of children.

          “Hindi nagsesex? Ha?!” Both paused, barely noticed the people around. Phil’s eyebrows once again knitted. “Eh puta anong ginagawa niyo tuwing nagoovernight ka doon?”

          “Natutulog?!” He tossed a hand up. The pitch of his voice rose.

          “LANG?” The expression on Phil’s face grew bigger. Then head jerked back and his face contorted. “Pffft— Manilawa. Ikaw?!”

          Salle rolled his eyes. Phil couldn’t see it directly, but he felt it. “Kailangan pag nag oovernight nagsesex? Ano ba Phil.” He shook his head. “Puta ‘san mo naman napulot ‘yon?” he spread his palm across his face. “‘Bayan! Mga iniisip mo.”

          “HALA HINDI LANG AKO!?”

          “Sino pa!?”

They were getting more unpleasant looks as their shouting continued.

          Phil’s eyes widened as his jaw dropped. The corners of his lips turned up slowly. Until he let out a fit of giggles. “Si Cess.”

          “Ha!? Eh kapatid ko ‘yon gago ka ba?”

          “Tangina maniwala ka, baka nga gumagawa na ng fanfic ‘yon tungkol sainyo eh.” Phil began hysterically laughing. He slapped a hand on his vibrating stomach, while the other hand braced the hand rail.

          “Tumigil ka nga!” Salle scolded, his seriousness wavering. He mildly hit Phil’s shoulder. Salle pressed his lips together, suppressing his laugh. “Ano ba hindi naman nakakatawa eh!” He shot Phil a look, his eyebrows shook from trying to look serious, but failed.

          “Tumatawa ka rin!?” Phil began wiping tears at the corner of his eyes. “Mukha kang tanga sa shades mo ulol!”

To this Salle snorted and quickly slapped his hand above his lips. They shared a few seconds, leaning against the railing, laughing. The lightness died down, for Salle, it ended with him shaking his head. He propped his elbows back on the railing and remained quiet. The smile on his lips slowly faded and sagged.

          “Oh so… So first kiss niyo.” Phil started again, with a serious tone now. Salle simply nodded. “Oh tapos? Hindi ba dapat masaya ka?” He paused.“Kayo?”

          Before Phil could even finish, Salle already shook his head, tossing away the other’s idea. “Hindi pare nagkamali nga kasi ako.” He repeated himself, with equal seriousness. The gravity of the situation was slowly settling in. He let out a breath, his shoulders falling in defeat. “He told me something about himself last night na I don’t think he’s shared with anyone.”

          “Which is?”

          “I’m not going to tell you.”

          “Okay.” Phil was always easier to talk to. “Oh tapos?”

          “And it’s what’s been bothering him the whole time, kagabi…” Salle trailed off. He didn’t know how to explain it without telling Neo’s story. “And… gets?” Phil shook his head.

          Salle sighed in defeat and shook his head. “It’s just… That was a really… big… part of him…” He paused again, searching for the right words. “And… it was difficult for him to share it.” The image of Neo crying resurfaced. He felt how Neo struggled last night, being unable to speak. “And what?... I just kissed him.” Salle barely whispered. All regret spilling from him.

          Phil pouted at his friend. After a second of silence, he began again, lightly. “Oh alam mo naman pala kung san ka nagkamali eh.”

          “Hindi lang ‘yon,”

          “Eh ano pa?”

          “Nung sinisigawan na niya ko kagabi, nasabi ko sakanya na…” Salle squeezed his eyes shut behind his sunglasses. “‘I didn’t mean it’.” Salle felt something hit him behind his head. “Aray!”

          “Tanga!” Phil struck him with his hand. “Bakit mo kasi sinabi ‘yon?”

          “I didn’t really mean ‘I didn’t mean it’!” Salle’s voice rose. Then it was small. “I meant…” He hung his head on the side, his lips on an evident line. “… I meant iba naman kasi ‘yung intention ko sa paghalik ko sakanya.”

          “Eh ano ba intention mo?”

          “… That I still accept him despite the things that happened in his past.” Salle tipped his head down. He felt so empty to have Neo avoid him like this, all because of his own stupidity.

          Phil sighed. “There are other ways naman kasi to let him know,” He nudged the shorter man, “Hindi lang sa paghalik.”

          “Eh hindi lang naman ‘yon yung rason ko eh!” Salle’s voice rose again.

          “Eh ano pa?” Phil asked with the same calm voice.

          Salle snapped his head to Phil. He blinked behind his sunglasses. His lips were slightly parted, before speaking softly, containing the secret. “Because I love him, Phil.”

And the secret was out.

Phil drew in a breath as he leaned back. He returned the surprised blink. He was surprised that Salle, the _fuccboi_ , the player, actually said it. Verbally.

Salle felt it too. He looked away. He actually said it for the first time that he loves Neo… And Neo wasn’t the one who heard it. Salle pouted with another pang of guilt.

          “Well does he know that?” Phil’s eyes casted down. The other didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. Phil sighed, facing back the horizon to prop his elbows on the railing. “Salle, alam mo naman diba kung bakit hindi ka niya pinagkakatiwalaan sa mga moves mong pang-physical.”

Salle’s eyes casted down behind his sunglasses, taking in each of Phil’s words.

          Phil clicked his tongue. “Alam mo, ‘yan kasi problema mo eh.” He turned his head to the side to find Salle’s eyes behind the tinted lenses. They looked empty. Phil’s shoulder fell. “ I don’t know man, you keep— You keep being in physical contact with so many people.” Salle slightly shook his head, knowing Phil was right. “Hilig mong umakbay, yumakap, humawak, humalik sa kung sino sino. Hindi mo iniisip kung anong nararamdaman nila.”

          Salle’s eyes fell shut. His brows knitted. “Wala lang naman kasi ‘yung sa ibang tao eh,” He said as a weak defense, even if he knew he was wrong. “Pero alam mo namang iba si Neo.”

          “Pare ‘yun nga,” Phil fully turned his body to Salle. “Alam ko.” He pointed to himself, “Eh siya?” He extended his palm to the side, aiming at the distance where Neo sat in between Tomas and Cessie. Salle followed this direction and stared at the back of Neo’s head. “Alam ba niya?”

Phil’s words hit him. And he felt like he wanted to jump to Neo’s side. But at the same time, he felt like he just wanted to pool on the tiled floor and wait until life comes back into his legs to carry him up.

          “Aminin mo na kasi, malandi ka sa lahat, pati sakanya. Kaya hindi niya malaman kung genuine ka ba sakanya o hindi eh.”

          “Phil putangina, ano pa bang kailangan kong gawin?” Salle’s voice broke. Though, he refused to slip up. “Hindi pa ba ako obvious? Puta!”

          “Alam mo naman kung anong kailangan mong gawin, Salle.”

Salle tipped his head lower. He rested his forehead low above his fists. He closed his eyes.

          “Ang tanong,” Phil began again, his voice quiet. “Ano bang kinakatakot mo?”

Salle’s forehead rubbed against his skin. He shook his head. Phil stared into the view. The sky was clearing. The light’s reflection danced on the small riffle of waves in the far lake.

          Phil wrapped and arm across Salle’s shoulder. He squeezed it gently. “Lakasan mo na kasi loob mo pare. Kailangan ka niya.”

 

~~~~~

             **SUNDAY AFTERNOON:**

_(1:19 PM)_

Salle eyed Neo across the long table at _Leslie’s_. They’ve decided to remove the sunglasses as it was rude to eat with it on. Salle had his fingers laced in front of him and he leaned his cheek on it. His lips were hidden behind his fingers, but his eyes were only trained on Neo. His eyebrows weren’t furrowed into a glare, nor were it a plea. Salle was just simply, in all the literal sense of it, keeping his eye on Neo. And Neo avoided it, at all cost.

He’d also seemed to have forgotten about the other three they were with. Cessie sat beside Neo, and on his other side was Phil. Across Phil was Tomas who sat next to Salle. Conversation was running among the three, Neo occasionally smiled at them for acknowledgement, but remained quiet. His eyes quickly landed back to his empty plate, to the side, anywhere but to his front.

Conversation died. Salle has been at his unwavering stare on Neo for a couple of minutes now since they’ve all finished eating. Tomas quickly bounced his eyebrows at Cessie, signaling her. She rolled her eyes, leaning it on her shoulder with a casual smile. Phil caught on and smiled at Tomas.

          “CR lang ako!” Cessie announced and rose from her chair to walk away.

          “Phiiil!” Tomas cooed brightly.

          “Mm?” Phil answered innocently.

          “Tignan natin ‘yung view dali!!” Tomas rose from his seat and walked across to pull Phil up from his seat. They giggled as they padded over to the view deck.

Neo’s eyes followed them. Salle’s eyes never left Neo. Neo sighed. Finally his eyes turned to the side to meet Salle’s, without turning his head.

Their eyes met.

There was a sudden lump on Salle’s throat.

A few seconds passed in silence. Tension rose. They both knew what their friends were doing or were at least trying to do. Salle took in a breath, lifting his shoulders. He straightened up in his seat and he pulled down his fingers from his face. His lips parted—

Neo sighed.

          “I’ll be at the view deck.”

Neo stood up and walked away.

The only one left at the table deflated. His palms caught his face. Salle shook his head.

          _“Lakasan mo na kasi loob mo pare. Kailangan ka niya.”_ Phil’s words echoed in his head and Salle groaned.

He felt the warmth of a small hand rubbing between his shoulders. He lifted his head to the side, leaning it back on his fist. He looked up to the same pair of emerald eyes that he shared with. Cessie returned him a warm smile.

          “Sabi niya,” Cessie sat down next to him. Salle was grateful for her comfort. “Sabihin ko raw sayo na ang tanga mo.” He had to laugh. Cessie laughed with him. When the laughter died down, she looked up at him again, with concern this time. “Hindi ba nagwork?”

          “Hindi eh.” He gave her a small smile before swinging his head to the other direction where he saw Neo taking photos of Phil and Tomas at the view deck.

          “You’ll get through him, kuya.”

          “How sure are you?” Salle asked without turning his head back to her.

          Cessie’s features softened. “He trusts you.”

Salle swung his head back to his twin. It was hard to believe that now, with what he’s done. He gave her a small smile even when all he wanted to do was breakdown before her.

 

~~~~~

_(3:11 PM)_

          “Cessie, release the fucking clutch.” Salle groaned, sunk into the passenger seat as the car jerked multiple times.

 _Team Tags_ were back on the road and was nowhere near the exit with the unending traffic.

          “Shut up! I shouldn’t even be driving!” She bit back at her brother, glaring into the windshield.

          “Akala ko nakaalis na tayo sa _Sky Ranch_.” Tomas giggled at the back. Phil snickered with him.

          “IKAW KAYA MAGDRIVE!” She lost her chill and both Toms and Phil immediately shut up. They knew better than to piss Cessie off further.

Salle scoffed at her. He would have begged Neo to drive at that moment, but he knew he’d be the worse at it. The car had been relentlessly jerking under Cessie’s control and it was beginning to put more weight in Salle’s headache that he still hasn’t recovered from his hangover. The car’s frequent hard stops and then suddenly jumping back to life because of traffic wasn’t helping at all. Salle wanted to throw up, but willed himself not too. He felt his surroundings spin, his skin was hot with fatigue and it’s only halfway through the day.

          “Bakit ka ba kasi naglasing!?” Cessie sounded more like their mother than Salle’s twin.

Neo lifted his head from the window to side-eye Salle behind his sunglasses. Salle’s eyes, hidden behind his own pair looked up the rearview mirror. He saw Neo’s lips form into a pout. He saw him sigh and lean his head back to the window, facing the road again.

 

 

~~~~~

             **SUNDAY EVENING:**

_(8:03 PM)_

The only other time they stopped was to eat dinner at the highway. Cessie and Salle switched after that, finding it in him to finally have the strength to drive, despite his already terrible headache. He figured it would become unbearable if Cess continued to drive. There’s been so much traffic that they arrived in front of _One Archer’s_ at eight in the evening.

Once the car stopped, Salle let go of the steering wheel and leaned back on his seat. He closed his eyes with brows knitted. He hoped that two minutes would be enough to subside it.

          “Switch na kuya,” He heard Cessie say beside him.

          Salle raised an eyebrow at her. He turned his head to squint at her. “Huh?”

          “Ako na maghahatid sakanila.” Cessie said softly.

No one had opened their doors and Salle’s surroundings were beginning to close in on him, causing more nausea.

          “Pwede namang magcommute na lang kami.” Phil lightly suggested, though Tomas was still sleeping soundly beside him.

Salle was tired. Cessie was tired. And he didn’t want Neo to commute this late. Salle took in a breath.

          “It’s okay Cess,” He said quietly, “Ako na. Pahinga ka na.”

          “Kaya mo pa ba?”

He thought of Neo. _Kakayanin_.

          “Yeah.” He answered lightly. He gave her a small smile.

          Cessie sighed. “Okay then, ingat ka, kuya.”

          “Will do.” He said as he straightened up to place his hands on the steering wheel.

          “Baba ko na ba bag mo?” Cessie asked.

          _Well why else would he need it?_ He wasn’t sleeping anywhere else this time.

          “Yeah. Salamat.”

Cessie nodded and reached out to pat Salle’s thigh before she turned to the other three at the back seat.

          “Love you guys! Ingat kayo!” She sang, her eyes disappearing in her smile.

She twisted her body to reach out a hug to them. Phil, as best as he could without waking Tomas up, returned her hug. Neo from the other side leaned forward to wrap his arm around the Cessie’s shoulders. He hugged her tightly. They shared that comfort of knowing the other’s pain without having to explain anything.

          Neo lightly kissed Cessie’s cheek. “Thank you,” He whispered to her.

Cessie pulled away to give him the same apologetic, but understanding smile she gave a night before, after the fellowship. When Neo returned the smile, she twisted back to the front, opened the door and hopped off. Salle got down from the car too and followed Cessie to the trunk. The other three were left inside.

After retrieving both their bags, Cessie swung each strap on each of her shoulders. Salle closed the trunk. He faced his twin.

          “Kaya mo?” He asked.

          “Naman.” She weakly mocked him. The corner of Salle’s lip turned up at this. “Ako pa.”

          Salle reached his hand out to ruffle the top of her head. Cessie giggled. He echoed the weak giggle and his hand fell to the back of Cessie’s neck. He gently pulled on it and leaned in to lightly press his lips on his twin’s forehead.

          Cessie’s features softened. Her brother was so sweet and it pained her to know he was having a hard time. “Ew,” she scoffed jokingly. Salle pulled away snickering. “Joke. Ingat kayo.”

Salle nodded and walked back to the door of the driver’s side.

          “Text me!” Cessie called after before she crossed the road.

Salle hopped back into the car, the cool temperature that contrasted the humidity outside hit his warmed skin. It caused him to shiver in his light tank top. He wished he had his jacket. He buckled his seat belt in and swung his head back to the other three, checking on them.

          “Okay pa kayo?” he asked.

          “Sino na sa harap?” Phil answered with another question.

That thought didn’t really occur to Salle. His eyes weakly shot up at the question.

          “Uhh…” He didn’t really want to have to think about this. “Ikaw na lang.”

          “Ako?” Phil asked. “Hindi naman ako last bababa?” His eyes dropped to Tomas who slept on his arm and looked up to find Neo already looking at him. “Ikaw na lang kaya.”

Neo didn’t really look amused. Salle wasn’t either. Salle sighed and twisted his body back to the front, letting the question hang. He didn’t really care. He’d put the car in motion when someone decided to sit beside him, whoever it was.

His eyelids were heavy as he blinked. He felt the car jostle and heard the passenger seat’s door closing. He shook off his sleep and looked up to his side to see who it was.

Neo buckled his seat belt and leaned as far away as possible from Salle, avoiding eye contact and leaned his head on the window. Salle weakly smiled at him before turning back to the road and switched gear.

 

~~~~~

_(8:31 PM)_

Tomas was first to get off at one of the overpasses in España, and they all greeted him good bye. Salle watched Phil and Tomas at the sidewalk through the car’s window that had been rolled back up.

Phil held Tomas’ face with both hands and looked down at him with the warmest smile despite how tired they both were. Tomas looked up at him with the same bright eyes. Salle saw Tomas laugh and cover his mouth. Phil let out the same lighthearted chortle, still squishing Tomas’ cheeks between his palms. Phil looked back down on him and they held a sweet gaze. Phil leaned in and Tomas stood on his toes to catch Phil’s lips.

The corner of Salle’s lips turned up, but he had to look away. As he swung his head, at the corner of his eye, he vaguely caught Neo snapping his head back to the window. He guessed he wasn’t the only one shaken by the couple’s shared kiss. Salle’s elbow rested on the window pan and his fingers caught the side of his head. He let his eyes flutter shut and his fingers began massaging his head to ease the pounding. It was getting late and Salle had to get back to taft after all this.

 

When Phil finally parted with his beloved, he got back into the car and it sped off. It seemed that Phil had already run out of things to say or even make an effort of small talk. He decided to sleep instead and the car fell even more silent.

It was quiet again. Only Salle and Neo were conscious and they were both aware that this was the first time they were in such close proximity of each other since the start of the day, away from everyone’s eyes. Salle snuck a glance at Neo when traffic caused the car to stop. He stared, not knowing if he was waiting for Neo to look back, or acknowledge him.

He wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him he was sorry. He was wrong. He was stupid.

He looked away to put the car in drive.

 

~~~~~

_(9:14 PM)_

They finally arrived near UP and Phil was dropped off after they greeted each other good bye in the car. At the sidewalk, where Salle left the cars’ hazard signal on, Neo unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door. Salle was momentarily worried that Neo decided to walk from this point, but he his worry eased as he saw him walk around to the other side to share a hug with Phil. Salle watched as Neo held on to Phil tightly with his eyes closed. Phil returned the comforting hug.

Somehow he felt even more lightheaded at this sight than the whole time he’d been driving. A yawn escaped Salle’s lips and it followed with a groan. He looked outside again to see Neo and Phil had pulled away. Salle rolled his window down and cocked his head at Phil, smiling.

          “Uy pare,” Phil stepped closer to the car. Neo stepped back, quietly leaving the two to their farewells. “Maraming salamat ha!” Phil slapped his hand in Salle’s open one and pulled in for a strong hug that was limited only for a few seconds with the door in the way.

          “Hindi pare,” Salle pulled away to look up at Phil. “Maraming salamat sayo.” Phil chortled and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Love you pare,”

          “Ako ba?” Phil side eyed Neo and Salle snickered, shaking his head. Phil laughed. He swung his arm around Salle’s neck once more pulling him in a quick harsh grip.

          “Wag,” Salle protested with a smile, “Nahihilo na ‘ko.” They pulled away with smiles spread across their faces.

          “Ingat kayo ha!” He looked at Neo, extending his farewell to both of them. Phil clapped at Salle’s shoulder then waved at Neo before walking away.

Salle turned his eyes to Neo and was mildly surprised to see him already looking at him. It seemed they both were when their eyes caught. Before his chest tightened at the pressure, he casually nodded for Neo to get back in the car. Neo turned his head down, avoiding eye contact and hastily walked around the front. He got in and Salle began to drive to his last stop for tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needless to say, the scene at the _Sky Ranch_ with Phil and Salle was my favorite out of this whole chapter.
> 
> OKAY. So let me explain myself. I wanted this to be the last chapter, but as I wrote it, it'd become too long. And I realized that I also wanted to cut it because I wanted their scenes alone, together, separated from all the chaos of the day. Like personally, I've decided to cut it because I want to dedicate one whole chapter for them alone without having to think about trimming down the prior scenes.
> 
> Also our songlist ends here. Because there's something about the silence that only Neo and Salle understands when they share it. Chekka!
> 
> PERO GOOD NEWS. Expect the last chapter on Thursday. :) I won't be extending for another week kasi putangina tapusin na natin 'to AHAHAHA. But really, the last chapter's already done and it's already waiting to be posted. I just want ya'll to soak up all the angst one last time for a few more days before we end this series with pure bliss (guaranteed).


	5. The Timer Has Stopped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The timer has stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all still alive by the end of this.  
> (Bec I certainly am not.)

 

 

 

 

 

_(9:21 PM)_

Finally, the car’s engine was cut. There was silence.

Neither Salle nor Neo said anything for many seconds.

 

Salle was too exhausted, physically, emotionally, to wrap his head around something to say or do. He didn’t want Neo to leave. He didn’t want to leave either once Neo got out of the car. But he didn’t want to keep him inside by forcing conversation on him. With his options down to zero, Salle calmly raised both his arms above his head, hanging it over the back rest.

A heated breath escaped his through his nose. The cool air conditioning in the car was beginning to dissolve with the engine off. His eyelids once more became heavier with each blink. This steady silence suddenly calmed his body enough to realize the heaviness of it. He felt drained in a nauseating way. Salle felt like he could fall unconscious then and there.

Until he realized he hadn’t heard any car doors open yet. Just before his eyelids shut for good, he felt the weight of someone’s stare. His eyes shot open, jumping out of his sleepy haze and immediately looked up at his side.

He looked at Neo startled, caused by his own actions. He caught Neo’s eyes which looked back at him with concern, as if searching for something. Salle brought his arms down to his lap and shook his head.

          “Uhmmm…” Salle looked for something to say. He looked away from Neo’s eyes to nowhere in particular. “Yeah. Yung bag mo nga pala.” He mumbled to himself. He cleared his throat and blinked a few times like he’s forgotten what he just said.

He blinked wide open again to regain his thoughts. There was a pause before he twisted from facing Neo to reach the door at his side. But before he could lift the door handle, he felt a cold palm pull on his arm. Salle’s fist clenched as he felt a shiver.

          “Ang lamig ng—”

          “Ang init mo.” He heard Neo say curiously, but with the gentleness of concern. _Shit._

Salle snapped his head back to face Neo. The other was looking at where his hand held Salle’s arm, and it travelled up to meet his eyes. Salle didn’t know what to say. So he resorted to what would be his usual reaction.

          Salle forced a smirk and weakly spoke, “Lagi naman akong hot.”

          Neo hit his arm with the same palm that held him. “Seryoso kasi.” Salle saw Neo breath heavily through his nose and recognized his glare. It was the look Neo gave him when he was done with his shit.

The smirk disappeared from Salle’s face and instead, his features fell into a defeated frown. Salle looked away and sighed while shutting his eyes.

          “Okay lang ako.” Salle tried to say firmly.

          “No.” Neo protested firmly. “You’re not.” His eyes never left Salle.

          “Seryoso nga, okay nga lang ako.” Salle raised his voice a little, trying to gain authority. “I can just stop at 7/11 to get coffee or something.”

          “You have fever!” Neo outdid the gradual rise of Salle’s voice.  “Coffee won’t help!”

          “Edi sa Mercury Drugs!”

Neo set his jaw and his glare deepened, causing hard lines to appear on his face.

Salle shook his head, scrunching up his face. He was already mildly annoyed. But honestly, it was because he was so physically exhausted that he just wanted the comfort of his home. Sure, weighing in his condition, he’d rather stay here for the night but he knows he’s fucked up too many times already and he knew Neo didn’t want him around. He didn’t want to cause him more inconvenience. They were both equally tired from the trip or of each other and he really didn’t want to push it. Their issues could wait, but right now, he was a second away from passing out. The day’s events and Neo’s constant avoidance drained the life out of him. But he can’t do anything about it now because Neo was being so fucking stubborn.

          Salle drew in a breath to compose himself. He figured raising his voice at him wouldn’t help and he tried for a softer approach. “Neo, ayoko nang guluhin ka pa. Kaya pwede ba—”

          “I’m not letting you drive, Salle.” Neo cut in without letting him finish, his voice was as piercing as before, but it was an edge softer.

Salle’s shoulders fell defeated. He let his head fall back on the headrest and closed his eyes groaning.

          “Why are you so stubborn?” Salle pleaded.

          Neo rolled his eyes. “Oh I’m stubborn? Ako pa ha? Ako pa talaga?”

Salle twisted his neck to face Neo. His hair fell over his eyes as he did. He shut his eyes. He felt his body overheating. It was too hot in the car with the engine cut, Salle felt like it was spinning. He clicked his tongue.

          “Kaya ko nga.” Answered too weakly, his voice hoarse.

          “Bakit ba ang kulit mo?” Neo said through his teeth.

          Salle tried to straighten up. He threw his head back. His eyebrows knitted in discomfort. Salle’s voice had gone soft, tired of fighting. “Look Neo we’re both tired, why don’t we just…”

          Neo suddnely shifted in his seat, facing the windshield and crossed his arms over his chest tightly. He clicked his tongue and huffed. “Kasi I would rather be pissed buong gabi with you in my room than wake up bukas knowing na you’re dead kasi I let you drive habang you’re sick!”

Salle’s eyes shot open.

          “Kaya I’m not leaving until you get out this fucking car, Salle!”

Salle turned to look at Neo again. He was still glaring at the windshield. Salle’s features softened and he weakly smiled at Neo. _So stubborn_.

He woke his arm up to reach under the steering wheel to retrieve his keys. He lifted his back from the seat and opened the door at his side. The jingle of his keys and the sound of his door opening were too much for his senses to bear after a long deafening silence and he had to let out a breath as he walked to the back of his car with all his strength to not lose balance. The air outside was cooler, but it was heavy and it still caused Salle to shiver.

He pressed a button on his carkey to open the trunk. The vehicle jostled and Neo appeared from the other side of it. Salle quickly looked up and he saw that his face had eased of its glare from just a while ago. Salle reached over to take Neo’s bag, but the other beat him to it.

          “Ako na.” Before Salle could protest, Neo already lifted his heavy bag from the car’s trunk and swung it around his shoulder. Neo stepped back watching Salle.

Salle nodded with pursed lips before he pulled back to reach above and shut the trunk. He pressed another button, before walking to the driver’s seat. Neo followed him behind as he thought they would just pass by, but Salle had once again opened the door to the driver’s seat.

          “Ano ba!” Neo’s eyes widened and grabbed Salle’s arm that held the door open.

          Salle snapped his head to Neo with a confused look. “I’m just going to park the car.”

The glare reappeared on Neo’s features. He added pressure on his grip and looked straight into Salle’s eyes, demanding.

          “Magpapark nga lang akooo.” Salle repeated himself, sternly, but softer this time.

Neo’s hand tensed on Salle’s arm and eased, and repeated that way, with the uncertainty to trust him. They held their eyes. Salle waited. A few seconds passed before Neo huffed, tipping his head down and released Salle’s arm. Neo stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest, but had the same glare as he intently watched Salle’s every move. Neo would probably go as far as being run over by the vehicle because of his stubbornness.

Salle breathed out, shaking his head while the corner of his lip turned up. He hid this by quickly getting back inside his M3. He didn’t want to piss off Neo further by showing him how he found it cute that he was genuinely concerned even if he was mad at him.

 

Salle finally parked the car properly. He shut the car’s door for the last time tonight and locked it. He leaned on it to keep himself steady. The bigger world outside the car, spun more than when he was inside. Sweat was beginning to break on his forehead. He wiped a palm across his face, hoping to ease the discomfort. Then he felt cold fingers lace through his free hand. He immediately held on to it. A wave of gratefulness washed over him. Salle dropped his hand from his face and tried to find Neo’s eyes.

Neo had his head to the side, though a shade of pink had risen on his cheeks. Salle weakly smiled. At the corner of Neo’s eye, he saw that Salle was already looking at him and he took his cue on gently pulling on Salle’s fingers. Salle peeled himself from the car.

 

They went up to Neo’s room in silence, with only their fingers linked. It was the familiar room that they’ve spent so much time in together. Salle sighed knowing tonight was going to be different from all of those. For the first time, he didn’t really want to be here. He was sure Neo didn’t want him to be here either. But for the sake of surviving the night, they had to be together.

Neo only let go of Salle's hand once they got inside. Salle was wrong, it looked like the same room they’ve spent a lot of time in together, but it felt unfamiliar to him. He suddenly didn’t know what to do so he simply stood there in the middle of the space, looking a little lost. Neo went around the room first, to put his bag down then walked again to turn the ac on behind them. Salle dumbfounded, simply watched him.

          Neo caught his eye. “Uso umupo.”

Salle nodded and robotically sat down at the edge of Neo's bed. He usually lied down on it like it was his own, but he can't seem to do it tonight. He was quietly staring at the sheets when he suddenly felt a cold palm on his neck. He straightened up startled, looking up at Neo.

          “Uhmm...” Neo looked around as his palm never left Salle's neck. “Wala akong thermometer eh.”

Salle weakly smiled.

Neo let go and walked away again. Salle shivered as the cold hand lifted and was replaced with the cool air of the ac. He tipped his head down, closing his eyes. Salle steadied himself up right with both arms stretched on either side of him. He heard water rising as it poured into a container. A few seconds later, he felt Neo tap his shoulder. Salle lifted his heavy head to look up at Neo again. A glass of water greeted him. Salle reached to take it, their fingers briefly brushing.

          “Ito pa.” Neo lifted up a single tablet of _Biogesic_ for Salle to take. The other smiled up at him and took it. “This is all I have, sorry.” Neo pouted.

          “It’s okay.” Salle mumbled, barely audible.

Neo walked away again as Salle popped the tablet into his mouth and finished the glass of water. Salle reached over to place the glass on the bedside table and ran a hand through his hair as he sat back.

Neo stepped back in front of him, with a new item at hand. – _Honestly why was he being so nice_? – Salle looked at what Neo held out for him. It looked like a folded black shirt and basketball shorts. Salle quietly raised an eyebrow.

          “They’re both yours.” Neo answered softly. “You lent me the shirt and you left these shorts one time. I don’t remember when.”

          Salle weakly smiled. He didn’t remember either, but it didn’t matter. “I let you _borrow_ my shirt.” He corrected Neo.

          Neo rolled his eyes and planted the clothing to Salle’s chest. Salle held on to it and when he did, Neo walked away again. Salle snickered. “Shower ka muna.” Neo muttered after.

 

Salle got out from the bathroom feeling a little more relieved than before. His body didn’t feel like it was overheating anymore, but he was still lightheaded and the cool air still caused him to shiver. His head was down as he stepped over to the edge of the bed. He sniffed and ran the back of his hand under his nose.

          “Is it cold?” He heard Neo say from what seemed like the desk.

Salle made a barely audible sound of affirmation without turning his head to the other. After placing his wallet and keys on the bedside table, he took his phone to send Cessie a message. Eyes trained on his screen, Neo’s sock covered feet came into view. Salle looked up, but before his eyes reached Neo’s, it got caught by the white and green jacket folder over Neo’s arms. He dropped his phone on the bed. Salle’s lips parted and he finally looked up at him.

They locked eyes.

A second passed before Neo offered out his jacket, or Salle’s jacket. They didn’t know. Salle’s heart beat had gone erratic. He swore that Neo would see the pounding of his chest through his shirt as he stood up from the bed, levelling with Neo. Salle stepped closer, closing in on the distance between them. Both their eyes casted down on the jacket.

             _This fucking jacket_.

As the silence weighed on, with his lashes casted down, Salle blinked a few times, keeping his breathing even. Salle looked up at Neo first. Then Neo looked up to meet his. They both equally looked tired.

Neo’s soft, brown hair was sticking out. His eyes drooped at the corners, there were dark circles under his eyes. And his small, pink, lips were pressed into a natural pout. If that was how bad Neo looked, then Salle’s eyebags probably had their own eyebags. His own hair, being fresh out of the shower, fell, framing either side of his face.

But they still didn’t look away from each other. They locked their eyes, the other drowning in a pool of blue, the other under the trance of emerald green. Both their breathing had been forced to even out.

Neo was so close to him now. This was the first time in a few hours that he’d gotten this close to him, it felt like it’s been weeks. He could feel his body spread with warmth again, but not from fatigue. His chest began to tighten. He was falling apart but was doing everything he can to keep it to himself and keep upright. All because of a stupid fucking jacket. But he never left Neo’s eyes. He couldn’t look away. Not now. Once again, he let his body get the best of him.

Salle leaned in.

He pressed his lips,

on the fabric of Neo’s shirt. His face fell on Neo’s shoulder and his arms wrapped around Neo’s arms. Neo stiffened, but Salle didn’t let go, he didn’t pull him deeper into the hug either. Salle held his breath. Salle’s heart sank and his chest tightened all at once. He regretted it, what caused all of this. He caused all of this. Salle squeezed his eyes shut. He waited.

Neo let out barely a sob. The tension in his shoulders loosened and they fell catching the weight of Salle’s arms on it. Neo’s eyes fluttered shut and he slowly tipped his head down, his nose burying in the fabric of Salle’s shirt covered shoulder. Salle couldn’t keep in a sob muffled the fabric of Neo’s shirt. Neo stepped closer to glide his nose from the fabric to the skin on crook of Salle’s neck. He accepted it. Neo slowly pulled one arm squeezed between their stomachs and slid it under Salle’s. He wrapped his arm across the other’s back. Neo finally pulled on Salle. Salle finally pulled on Neo. They wrapped themselves around each other’s warmth.

Neo quickly pulled his other arm out, still with his jacket or Salle’s jacket folded over it and tightly wrapped it over Salle’s back. Neo and squeezed his eyes shut inhaling Salle’s scent. He took in a ragged breath.

They held each other that way. They pulled on each other tighter, like letting go was never an option. Their hug vibrated from how hard they pulled on each other. They were falling. They were catching each other at the same time.

Tears spilled from his eyes, caught by the other’s shirt. He held on to him tighter. This is what he could have done.

             _Stupid me_.

 

~~~~~

_(11:11 PM)_

Salle stirred in his sleep. His arm covered in his or Neo’s jacket, absentmindedly reached out to the bedsheet across the other side of the mattress. The fabric felt cool, not a hint of warmth as if someone had been lying on it. Salle squinted before his eyes opened to peek at the empty space on the mattress. Despite the dimness of the room, he saw how the pillows haven’t even been touched yet from its neat arrangement. Salle lifted his heavy head to scan the room. A few steps from the bottom of the bed was the blinding brightness of a laptop screen on Neo’s desk.

It created a silhouette of Neo who sat in a more loose set of clothing on his chair in front of his desk. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around it. Neo yawned.

Salle quietly groaned as he pushed himself up and shifted to sit at the edge of the bed, with his eyes closed. He took a few seconds, scratching his side. He regained his balance before he stood up and padded over the space between him and Neo. He stood behind him. He saw the laptop screen playing a scene from _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_. He watched as Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey talked over the woods. It was the scene where they both realized they could talk to each other in that other dimension. Salle lightly placed both of his hands above Neo’s shoulders.

Neo jumped and threw his head back, lightly hitting Salle’s stomach. Neo parted his lips, before he quickly tipped his head back down, lowering his legs from the seat to press the spacebar of his keypad and took out his earphones. He leaned back up.

          “Are you okay?” Neo quietly asked.

Salle looked down on him, restraining himself from the urge to run his fingers through Neo’s hair. The room was quiet despite their conversation.

          He nodded. “Ba’t gising ka pa?” His voice was just barely above a whisper.

          “Can’t sleep.” Neo mumbled.

          There was silence. Salle was losing himself in those blue eyes that looked up at him. He smiled at him. “Because you’re not trying to.” He lightly scolded Neo. The other’s eyes casted down, he’d been caught again. “’Lika na.” Salle patted his shoulder before pulling away. “Let’s go to sleep.” Salle replaced himself on Neo’s bed.

Neo closed his eyes as he evened out his breathing. He bit his lip, nervously. _Nervously?_ Why was he nervous? He didn’t know.

He shook it off and bent the laptop to close it, paying no mind in shutting it down properly. He stood up from his chair and when he turned around, he already found Salle on _“his”_ side of the bed, lying on his side, his back to the wall. He quietly walked to his bed and sat on the edge of it. He pulled the covers over his lap. He took a breath and swallowed before he lied down on _“his”_ side of the bed, his back facing Salle.

As Neo pressed his cheek against the fabric of his pillow, his chest pounded and he couldn’t find a reason why. He knew Salle was awake, he knew he had his eyes open and he felt the weight of his stare against his back. He was waiting for him again. _For what?_

Neo’s eyes fluttered shut and he took a deep breath. He swallowed again before willing himself to twist his body. Neo turned to lie down on his other side, facing Salle. But he still had his eyes closed. He tucked both his hands under his head pillow. Everything felt warmer despite the air conditioning. Its hum being the only sound heard in their silence. The world felt smaller as he invaded Salle’s personal space. The other’s warmth wrapped him better than the duvet did.

A soft smile appeared on Salle’s lip. He waited for Neo’s eyes. He knew he was awake. He was just as nervous as he was. He waited. He wanted to reach over, to caress the other’s cheek, to brush his soft brown hair out of his peaceful face, to comfort him and pry him to look up. _It’s okay_. He would say. But he didn’t. Enough of that. He waited.

The knit in Neo’s eyebrows eased and his lashes separated. Salle’s breath hitched. He really was beautiful. The beautiful boy’s eyelashes spread apart.

Finally he met Neo’s eyes.

Salle was lost for words; at that moment he’d forgotten everything he wanted to say. They stared at each other quietly. Waiting. He didn’t know how long the silence would go on this time. He was used to this. Not many people, who can talk, can speak soundlessly. This was what they both understood, silence. But at the same time, it was what they misunderstood the most. As much as he would like to revel in it, they couldn’t go on like this.

Salle believed that after many minutes, he saw Neo slightly dip his chin like some kind of signal. He took it.

          “Can I say something?”

Salle’s voice was hoarse and he lightly cleared his throat after speaking. His already light voice was enough to shake the quiet. Neo folded his lips, brushing them together. Salle tried to swallow the lump in his throat that caught whatever he was going to say next. Neo nodded.

Salle shut his eyes as he took a breath. Neo waited. He met Neo’s eyes again.

            _Enough waiting._

His thoughts were suddenly flooding in. It was overwhelming. _Where should he start?_ He had to let out a light laugh. Neo’s eyes widened, not expecting that kind of response.

          His laugh ended with a sigh, “I don’t even know where to start.” He muttered to himself. He calmed himself by holding Neo’s gaze. They were open, despite how tired they were.

He tried to collect his thoughts again while Neo patiently waited. Despite how loud he was, he was never really the best at expressing his most genuine feelings, he never felt the need to, until now. He had to look away. His eyes turned down to the bedsheet spread between them.

          “I guess I should start by saying sorry.” He finally found himself say, softly. He was reminded of all the many things he had to say sorry for. “For many things, not just my fuck up yesterday.” He added quickly.

          He couldn’t see, but the corner of Neo’s lips turned up. “Good, because I have a list.”

He looked back up to meet Neo’s eyes, his own, widened a little at the unexpected comment. When their eyes met and he realized Neo was joking, he lightly snickered. Neo caught on and giggled as well.

          “We go way back.” Salle whispered when the joke faded. His face turned serious. He looked away again, running his tongue across his lip. He ocassionally looked at Neo as he spoke. “I never really got to say it to you consciously but,” He paused. “…I’m sorry for kissing those people at _Exile_.”

Neo’s eyes left Salle’s face to turn down to the space between them. He recalled that night’s events.

          “That was the first time I saw you cry like that,” Salle continued, without looking at Neo. “and it was my fault.” He let the words sink in.  He took in a breath. “I fucking _swore_ to myself na hindi ko na uulitin, di na kita paiiyakin…Pero surprise!” His tone rose sarcastically. “Stupid Salle strikes again.” He sadly sighed and shook his head.  “Hindi ko alam Neo. Ang landi ko kasi.”

          There was silence. “Tigang ka kasi.” Neo muttered lightly. It was light, but they both knew the weight of his words.

          “Actually…” Salle agreed. He smiled apologetically. “I’m so tigang.” He snickered stupidly. Neo did the same. Salle’s smile fell again. “I’m so tigang that I end up hurting you.”

His words hung. They didn’t speak for a while. Salle lifted his eyes to Neo’s face again. He had a frown on his lips. It pinched Salle’s heart to see what he does to him. He shifted his body, causing the mattress to dip for a few seconds. He scooted closer, closing in on the space between them, but kept their skin from being in contact. The heat rose between them.

          “Neo,” He called. Neo looked up to meet Salle’s eyes. He didn’t want to hide anymore. He wanted to look at him straight in the eye when he said it. “Sorry dahil hinalikan kita kahapon.”

         He could see Neo’s jaw clench. But Neo barely nodded. It eased the tightness in Salle’s chest. He continued, his tone easier this time.  “Nung sinabi kong ‘I didn’t mean it’, I didn’t mean na wala lang sakin ‘yun… Kasi it meant so much to me.” He paused to look at Neo searching for any sign for him to stop.

          Neo kept his face blank, but Salle knew there was so much he was trying to hide. “What did it mean?” Neo asked, not exactly the warmest, but cold enough to make a point.

          Salle sighed. At least he knew Neo wanted to hear him out. “I kissed you kasi...” He trailed off, composing himself. “Kasi after everything you said, I wanted to let you know na, despite all of that…” He looked directly at Neo’s eyes again. Neo waited. “Tanggap parin kita.” There was the slightest change in Neo’s expression.

          The corner of Salle’s lip turned up and he continued again. He had more confidence to speak up this time, “I mean of course you don’t need anyone else’s validation. My opinion probably doesn’t even matter much, but I don’t know… I guess gusto ko lang malaman mo na that part of you doesn’t define you. I just…” He paused and swallowed, “I still think still you’re beautiful…”

Neo blinked at Salle and his eyes casted down to the same spot of fabric between them. Heat rose in his cheeks. Both their cheeks. Neo slightly twisted his face to further hide his lips on the pillow, letting the fabric catch his smile.

          Salle cleared his throat, tossing away his blush. He changed his tone back to seriousness. “Pero alam ko naman na it was a dick move, especially since it came from… from someone like me.” He smiled apologetically. “Especially since kitang kita ko kung gaano kahirap para sayo na ilabas yon. Tapos…” His words got caught. His voice turned into whispers. “Tapos hahalikan lang kita. I’m shit. I’m stupid…” He squeezed his eyes and a palm found its way across his face. He mumbled his stupidity to his skin over and over. Hot tears stung his eyes, but he refused for them to spill.

          He sighed deeply before releasing his face. “Phil told me na there were other ways, and of course there are other ways,” He opened his eyes again but avoided Neo’s. He was too buried in his guilt to meet Neo’s eyes. “Pero kasi… Nung time na ‘yun, ‘yun lang yung naisip kong gawin as a way to say… to say… uhmm…”

             _Now?_

             _No._

          He shook his head, tossing the idea away. “Uhm kasi…” He kept trailing off and huffed, frustrated. The hair on his forehead flew off. “… Look it’s just… It wasn’t just a kiss for me. I couldn’t think of anything else to do kasi…” He trailed off again. Neo was probably getting confused. “Shit ang cheesy nito putangina,” his voice rose a little.

          He shook his head again and squeezed his eyes shut. “Pero, para sakin kasi, it was… It was a promise. It was my promise to you.”

There was silence. With his eyes closed, he didn’t know if Neo was able to follow his words. Salle waited.

          “What kind of promise is sealed with a kiss?” Neo asked innocently.

Salle pried his eyes open to meet Neo’s. The question hung. He was surprised Neo asked it out loud. He pursed his lips together not knowing whether he should answer or wait for Neo to figure out the answer to his own question. As if Neo heard Salle, his eyes widened. Neo’s lips parted as realization hit him and he folded them back together, looking away. Heat rose on his cheeks again.

          Salle nodded to affirm the answer in Neo’s head. He took a few seconds to let it pass before he continued. “Promise na… I’ll be here when you fall. Like… Sasalohin kita.” He said lightly. Neo finally looked back up. A small smile greeted Salle and he returned it.

          But Salle’s smile faded and sagged into a frown. His eyebrows knitted together harshly, almost glaring. “At gagawin ko ang lahat ng kaya ko para protektahan ka.” He swore, voice stern. Salle’s jaw clenched at the memory of the asshole that did it. Salle glared down at the space between them.

There were many things he hated, but that animal was at the fucking top of his list. How dare he touched the one person he loves like that. Salle swore to himself that if he and Neo turned out alright and went as far as attending family reunions, and he saw that fucking asshole he was going to be greeted by Neo’s friend, boyfriend or husband, whatever, with Salle’s fist on his fucking face over and over.

Salle’s face scrunched up as he lost himself to his bloodlust thoughts. But it was cut by finger tips that caressed his cheek. Salle looked up mildly startled. He wasn’t expecting Neo’s touch. His soft and slender fingers slid under his chin and his thumb brushed across his cheek. Salle’s eyes fluttered shut and leaned in on Neo’s comforting touch. His hot head eased off. Salle lifted his sleeve covered arm and his hand lightly closed over Neo’s. He brushed his thumb at the back of Neo’s hand and swallowed down the rest of his anger.

             _Now?_

Salle took in a breath. He was never going to let anyone hurt him. He’s going to fuck up many times, but even if this all doesn’t turn out alright in the end, he’s still going to protect him.

             _No._

          He took in another breath. He felt calm under the soft heat of Neo’s touch. Still with his eyes closed, Salle spoke again. “… ang cheesy ko na ba?” His voice was low and was forced to be evened out.

There was silence.

Then there was the sound of a light laugh. The unexpected question took the best out of Neo despite Salle’s prior tension. And the sound of it… it chimed through Salle’s ears. It immediately replaced all his resentment from just a few seconds ago and he lifted his lids. He caught a glimpse of Neo shadowed in the dim room, he caught him mid-laugh, an open smile, eyes disappearing in his laugh, cheeks high. It was a quick sight, but it had been imprinted in Salle’s head. A bright kind of warmth spread through Salle’s body. His face immediately softened. At that moment he could physically feel himself fall too hard for this guy.

          Neo’s eyes opened to see Salle’s face where a smile spread in awe. Little did he know that he placed it there. Neo then tried for a serious expression. “Oo.” He teased Salle.

Now it was Salle’s turn to give an airy laugh. As the lightness faded, the same warm smile remained on Salle’s lips. He held on to Neo’s hand and lifted it from his face. Already, he paid mind to the lost of contact from his cheek. Salle held on to his hand and he gently laid both their arms on the space between them. His big hand wrapped over Neo’s smaller ones. They linked their fingers.

 

          Salle looked Neo in the eye, “’Di pa ‘ko tapos, though.” Neo lightly snickered and nodded. He took a second to shift to seriousness. “And… I guess hinalikan kita kasi…” He brushed his thumb over the back of Neo’s hand. “I wanted you… to trust me.” He paused again, searching for any affirmation from Neo.

Neo dipped his chin, nodding once, smiling even.

          Salle smiled, staring into Neo’s eyes again. He easily got lost in them. “Ang labo no? Trust, pero kaya ko nga nabreak trust mo kasi nga hinalikan kita.” Salle snickered. Neo bit his lip.

          There was another pause before Salle spoke again. “But really, Neo. I meant it. I really did. Seryoso Neo…” Salle tightened his hand over Neo’s and looked him directly in the eye. “Seryoso ako... sayo.”

Neo’s lips parted, his breath hitching. His words caused Neo to flutter his eyelids shut. Neo returned the same pressure on Salle’s fingers. There was silence again. Salle stared at him, re-memorizing Neo’s beautiful face. He was in the middle of making a mental list of all the things he found beautiful about him when Neo sighed. The mattress dipped continuously for a few seconds as Neo suddenly shifted closer to Salle. Neo’s knee lightly brushed against Salle’s thigh. Heat spread across Salle’s body. This was too intimate.

          Neo lifted his lids to catch Salle’s mildly surprised eyes. “Can I say something too?” He whispered. The breath of his words brushed Salle’s skin.

Salle’s chest started pounding. He was sure that _he_ had a lot to say tonight, but he wasn’t expecting Neo to contribute tonight’s “confrontation”. Either way, of course he wanted to hear what Neo wanted to say. He always wanted to hear Neo say anything. Salle nodded.

          Neo looked at him directly in the eye. “You’re right.”

Salle raised an eyebrow, questioningly.

         He let out a breath before speaking. “I mean I over reacted.” He started. “Uhmm… I was really low, and I wasn’t thinking anymore. I just reacted without thinking.” He paused, looking away, guilt showing in his eyes. “I… I concluded you through my prejudices—”

          “Basic words, basic words…” Salle momentarily interrupted.

         Neo let out a snicker. Once again, Salle made him laugh when all he wanted to do was cry. He let out a breath and tried again. “I mean sinunod ko lang ‘yung ‘branding mong fuccboi’ when—” Neo swallowed. “You were right,” He looked up at Salle. “I should have trusted you…”

 

Salle nodded, accepting Neo’s apology.

          Neo let out a frustrated sigh. He looked away. “It’s just, I was just so unsure. And scared—” He choked on his words. “I was scared that I was wrong about you. That you were taking advantage of me.” Neo’s voice started to break. He sniffed.

Salle released Neo’s hand to reach over and brush his fingers across the other’s cheek. He held him as Neo admitted his fault. His eyes never left him.

          “And I get that now. I understand how that was unfair for you.” Neo sniffed again and hot tears started pooling in his eyes. Neo’s heart sank. “I feel so wrong that I thought about you that way.” A light sob escaped Neo. “I should have trusted you. I should have – _hckh_ – trusted my judgement of you.” Tears started falling across Neo’s cheek. “But I didn’t, because I was scared– _hckh_ – That’s why I pushed you away—” Neo took a ragged breath. “—And left you hanging— Because I didn’t know what to do—” He squeezed his eyes shut as he took in another breath, trying to calm himself.

Salle pouted at him as his thumb spread across Neo’s cheek, catching all his tears. He waited for Neo to compose himself.

          “—When all I had to do.” Neo sniffed. “Was trust you.”

They let his words sink in. Salle casted his eyes down, though his fingers never left Neo’s cheek. He never really thought about it, but his chest tightened anyway.

          “I’m so sorry, Salle.”

A few light sobs escaped Neo. Salle couldn’t help but lean in closer, his nose a hair away from touching Neo’s. Salle continued to stroke Neo’s cheeks. His eyes never left him.

           “And Salle,” Neo called him despite his ragged breath. He forced his eyes open to meet Salle’s.

Salle felt Neo’s tears fall between his fingers. He really didn’t like it when he saw Neo cry. He nodded at him to let him know he was listening. He was here for him. Neo accepted it and looked him in the eye before saying,

          “You’re not stupid.”

Salle’s chest sank. His face contorted, tears threatening to fall. Neo sniffed before lifting his hand from the mattress to hold Salle’s cheek again.

          “You’re not stupid, Salle.” Neo repeated.

Salle felt like the weight in his chest just lifted. Even when he was on the verge of crying, even when Neo was crying, Salle laughed. Ridiculously enough, Neo followed his laughter amidst his tears.

They were both ridiculous.

 

Once the last of Neo’s tears were wiped away, they both calmed down and once again found each other’s eyes. Salle’s hand was once again on Neo’s, placed on the now limited space that separated them. They stared at each other quietly. Light, warm and tired smiles resided on their lips. There was silence once again. This time they were on the same page. This time they understood.

Everything felt lighter now. Like the weight they’ve both carried was suddenly lifted. It was this easy, but they both stupidly decided to prolong it.

 

          “Hindi ka na galit sakin?” Salle asked lightly, breaking the peaceful silence.

          “Hindi na.” Neo shook his head lightly.

Salle pulled Neo’s hand to him. He closed his eyes and pressed pressed his lips on Neo’s hand. He lifted his eyelids to smile at Neo. The other smiled bashfully, twisting his head to bury his smile on the pillow once again.

          “So we’re good?”

          “Yes.”

          Salle nodded, brushing his thumb across the back of Neo’s hand. “… So can I have my jacket back?”

          Neo’s eyes widened, then if fell blank. “No.” Neo answered coldly.

          “Whaaat?” Salle complained.

          Neo giggled, lacing his fingers with Salle’s. “Can’t we share?”

          “Sus,” Salle rolled his eyes. “Tapos ikaw naman maghahawak.”

Neo giggled again, lightly hitting Salle on his chest. Salle caught Neo’s playful punch and was at awe again. He swore he’d never get tired of seeing Neo laugh. It would be the death of him. If that’d be the case, he’d die happily if that was the last thing he saw.

          Neo’s palm crept up from Salle’s chest to his neck. “How’s your fever?” Neo asked, suddenly concerned.

          Salle gave a soft smile. “I’m still hot.” He whispered.

          Neo’s nose scrunched. He lightly hit Salle again. “Panget mo.”

Salle snickered again lightly. There was silence again. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. Seconds ticked by. Here they were again at silence. How much longer?

             _Now?_

 _When?_ The lump was back in Salle’s throat. He closed his eyes and breathed out, composing himself.

             _Now._

He lifted his eyelids again. He met those beautiful pools of blue. Despite the darkness, Neo’s eyes sparkled. He lost himself in them again. Salle bit his lip.

Salle swallowed once more. His hands were suddenly cold. His chest was pounding. Neo’s expression from a fond smile turned into concern. Salle released his lip.

          “There’s one more thing.”

His voice was hoarse. Neo’s eyes widened. The pounding in his chest wouldn’t relent. He felt like his fever had risen again. No. He had to do it now. Salle shook his head and cleared his throat. Salle closed the space between their bodies. Their skin parted only by the fabric of their clothes.

Salle looked at Neo directly in the eye.

          “Neo…”

 

_(12:01:00 AM)_

_The timer has stopped._

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Larger Than Numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _(12:00)_

 

 

 

 

 

_(12:01:04 AM)_

 

 

 

        “Neo, mahal kita.”

 

Neo’s eyes widened. Salle’s eyes widened. Their hearts beat faster.

      Silence.

The widest smile spread across Neo’s face. His eyes fluttered shut. It was the first time his brain was unable to control the smile from spreading. Suddenly all the stars aligned. Suddenly all his worries evaporated. Suddenly everything was right.

 

He forced his eyes open again. He met emerald eyes. Neo parted his lips.

      A beat.

 

          “I love you too, Salle.”

 

The words fell from his lips like how he said Salle’s name. Even if this was the first time he said it.

Salle’s face fell into the same smile that Neo had. His eyes shut for a few seconds. He _had_ been stupid. He'd been stupid to take it this long. It could have been this easy. It _is_ easy. It  _is_  right.

      There was silence again.

Then there was Salle’s laugh. The sound rung in Neo’s head. It was contagious. He laughed too.

      Then there was silence.

With the biggest, stupidest smiles spread across their faces, Salle leaned in. Neo leaned in. Their foreheads brushed against each other. Neo’s eyelids fluttered shut. Salle’s eyes casted down, briefly looked up Neo’s shut eyes. He really was beautiful. Salle shut his eyes. He brushed his nose against Neo’s. Their lips were a hair away from touching.

 

           They made a promise.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D E C E A S E D
> 
> Hinga. Bec I'm dead. Deaded.
> 
>  
> 
> And that's a wrap!  
> THANK YOU EVERYONE who read everything simula Happy T at Katip. Sa lahat ng sumubaybay at sinundan ako sa Twitter for updates and shit like that. Sana masaya kayo sa ending. Ako? Part of me wished I could have cut it sa chapter 5, kasi di ako fan ng outright declarations of love. Pero another part of me wouldn't stop bothering me, told me that Salle and Neo deserved it. They deserved to hear it from each other once and for all PARA MATAPOS NA JUSKO AHAHAHA.
> 
> Shoutout to Phil for being the best supporting character. Ang precious niya. I would also like to acknowledge my fault in not giving Tomas' character the justice he deserved. Personally, gusto kong mag-apologize sa character niya kasi halos siya lang yung walang development or at least pinaka detached sa conflict ni Neo at Salle. He deserves more than that. Sana mabigay niyo kung ano yung deserve niya.
> 
> Anyway, I feel like I'm going to have Postnatal Depression bec I'm going to miss thinking about this fic and pouring a lot of my time and effort in it. Needless to say, I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY IT'S DONE NA AHAHAHA Because this means I can move on na to other meaningful things like idk ACADEMICS. "Acads muna, Salle." (Neo, 2017). Narealize kong putangama ang hirap para magmulti-chapter, nakakadrain siya guys. Asakdjfh
> 
> With that being said, it will be a long time again before I write anything multi-chaptered. Along with this, I'll be going into some kind of hiatus where I'll probably just post a fic once out of a blue moon KASI NGA ACADS. Pero thank you to everyone who read all or some of my fics even if it was just this one. You and the BuKo team are the reasons why I strived to finish this fucking fic HAHAHA pero I loved every second of it.
> 
> So yes. Pero don't worry guys, very active parin ako sa twitter no matter what and I'll read other people's works too pag may nagdagdag. ;)  
> See you guys when I see you! It's been fun. I hope you guys continue writing!! Pagpatuloy niyo sanang palaguin ang panitikang ukol sa Buhay Kolehiyo!!
> 
> Paalam sa ngayon mga Pokpok!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your reactions or comments! And ask questions!! I love questions.  
> Kung wala kayong account, follow me on twitter, @essi_mag (it used to be a fan account so ignore the lumang tweets LOL) and mas mahilig ako magreply doon.
> 
>  
> 
> Maraming salamat sa pagsubaybay,  
> Paalam sa ngayon mga kaibigan!
> 
> Songlist:  
> [ _That’s What I Like_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMivT7MJ41M) \- Bruno Mars  
> [ _Is This Love_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaI-RzGiyUU) \- Jensen and the Flips  
> [ _Versace on The Floor_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2UZlwTDGbY) \- Bruno Mars  
> [ _Say You Won’t Let Go_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA%20) \- James Arthur  
> [ _Side to Side_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXiSVQZLje8) \- Ariana Grande  
> [ _Almost is Never Enough_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taPlLuvY0Hw) \- Ariana Grande  
> [ _Indak_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgG4sTOU77A) \- Up Dharma Down  
> [ _Say You Love Me_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAMM8JVbr8g) \- Jessie Ware


End file.
